I Am My Own Master...my own guru

Since my inception to Yoga some year and a bit ago I have grown...and then shrunk...and then I have grown again. These are the stages of our lives. We go through periods of ups and downs... we all know this. In this past year I have found myself enlightened (even if slightly) and then just as confused by Yoga. At times my practice is clear and concise. I'm consistent with my asana practice. I practice my meditation 3-4 days a week. I do breath work on a regular basis. And then there are times when I find myself making excuses not to step onto my mat. I am easily distracted away from my meditative state. And while practicing my Kapala Bhati, breath is the furthest thing from my mind.

I am currently working through a really amazing book that is helping to put my practice into a wide screen, director's cut kind of view. Meditations from the Mat by Rolf Gates has been a hand reaching through the muck to help me out of some deep muddy pits. The book consists of 365 essays meant to be read day by day. Unfortunately I find my self not always with time to read a chapter so I opt for reading as much as I can, when I can. It's a wicked book full of so much insight. It deals with Rolf's insight on the Yamas and Niyamas as it has related to situations and scenarios in his own life. Simple fact is, is that we all go through some of the same types of situations. And having a book of stories about how one man has dealt with his life stresses is great as a reference for someone like me, on this path of Yoga.

I recently read chapter 44 which talks about "Right Action". Gates talks of his plans to meet with a financial planner but just kept putting it off. He finally takes this "Right Action" and wastes no more time getting his finances into balance. He says that, "It's about our actions and not our good intentions. If we want self-esteem, we must do estimable things." He goes on to say that we must not wait for that "feeling-good" momentum to start our "Right Action". "If you want to meditate, staple your butt to the cushion; sooner or later your mind will quiet down." What great advice.

Since reading this I have found myself lifted up once more out of the mud. I taught my first workshop Yesterday... and it felt amazing. I had a great turn-out, mostly beginners. The 3 hour workshop focused on breaking down the movements of the Ashtanga Sun Salutations A & B and then stringing the movements together into the beautiful dance that is Surya Namaskar. I spent an hour just teaching Ujjayi Pranayama until everyone in the room felt pretty comfortable...and then we began!! I love teaching... I always have.

When I started to get really good at the drums and people asked me about what I knew, I would graciously share my experiences and knowledge. When I started to become very proficient at weight training people in the gym would always ask me about my workouts...and once again I was more than willing to help and teach technique and focus. Now that it comes to Yoga I find myself always answering questions from students and non-students. I could go on for hours answering these inquiries. And knowing that I don't have the answer all the time.

This is where chapter 44 comes in...right action...I love to learn and teach...now it's time to take right action...I have decided that learning and teaching Yoga is my calling...I feel a deep resonance with this path in life. No matter the ups or downs...Yoga is there...Yoga is consistently bringing me back up and reminding me of my capabilities. It helps bring me back to my mat, back to my Zafu and back to my breath. It helps bring me back into my relationships and helps take me out of my ego.

All right...time for some more Right Action!! Time to go work Jump Throughs!!

"Take up space, be grand, act great!"
-Rolf Gates, Meditations from the Mat; pg59

I'd like to dedicate this entry to my new niece or nephew... not sure until tomorrow!!

Namaste...shanti...shanti...shanti

i free like child

*this is an excerpt from a shpeel that I used for class on Wed. June 25th*

Today's class is about having fun... And I don't say that as to imply that we don't have fun here... It's all about the play... It's all about coming here and hangin' out with each other... We come... We do some poses... We stretch... We laugh... We breathe... You come here every Wednesday... And the great thing is that you commit yourself to coming... You make the commitment to show up and sometimes that's the hardest part... To show up. You commit yourself to taking time out of life's busy nature... To taking time to play!!!

It's all about getting that feeling back... It's about getting back that awareness...

Just think, for a second, about the life of a child... Perhaps even your own child... Or maybe a niece or nephew... Possibly a friends child just to cover all the bases!
These children that possess unbound awareness in everything that they see, hear, touch, smell, taste... Everything is new... Every moment, every second, every breath is a learning experience... Somewhere along the way most of us lose that connection to awareness... We play everything off like we've seen it before... We lose that ability to treat every moment as a chance to learn something new.

And this is one of the wonders of Yoga... It's purpose is to reconnect us with that awareness... To help us smell every scent, hear every sound, see every sight and really take the time to breathe and appreciate every breath... And as we get more connected to awareness we allow ourselves to play freely without fear... Without a sense of foolishness... Being mindful and deeply rooted in our practice but allowing ourselves to "Play the edge" just a little bit... Be like a child. Willing to step near the edge and play. Flirt with the unknown momentarily.

It's about trying to get as close as possible to that line that separates Will and Surrender... Having the willingness to try and do these poses... Having the willingness to really challenge your physical body, the willingness to challenge your "mental" by staying connected to the practice and to the breath... But, at the same time, being able to surrender the body and the mind... Surrender to the possibilities of not only Yoga itself but more importantly surrender your body and mind to the possibilities of You... The endless nature of your capabilities...

Once we can play at the edge without fear of possibilities...without fear of outcome... by surrendering all of our efforts to something higher than our need to succeed... once we can let go... childlike freedom is ours!!!

So I invite you children of young and old.... PLAY!!!!

Namaste...shanti...shanti...shanti!

The Yoga Challenge!!

There is true dichotomy in this force we call Yoga...the dichotomy of balance. The balance between effort and surrender within the Asanas (poses). The balance of your inhalations and exhalations, as you breathe through effort and into surrender. And, of the utmost importance is the equanimity of knowing when to step up to the challenge (whether on or off your mat) and when to stand down...

It's almost like the song The Gambler by Kenny Rogers...and it's true...You gotta know when to hold 'em or know when to fold 'em.........

So today, I pose to you a challenge. And it's not just a challenge of the body (no Headstands for 100 breaths) but also a challenge of the mind...

All of this, knowing when to step up and knowing when to take a knee...it's all there inside you...it's called intuition. It is the unexplainable energy that fuels us... It is the unmistakable feeling that in the present time, you know exactly what is right for you to do in that precise moment...You handle the situation breath by breath...

And this is what Yoga is. Yoga is knowing (through experience) and doing what's right for you... Yoga is about getting to know...reeeeally know...Yourself. Getting to know yourself so well, in fact, that you can intuit every situation... So that you can live your life knowing what to do and when to do it but also what not to do and when to let go.

So your challenge (for anyone who might read this....Really only Adele reads this!!) is to honour yourself today...Honour everything about yourself...Honour everything you like...everything you don't like...every bit of muscle and every bit of fat...every Asana that you find freedom in and every Asana that you hate and struggle with...Honour every thought about your baby niece and every thought about that person that cut you off in traffic...Honour your body and honour your mind..... what's the best way....breathe and accept!!!

Namaste...shanti...shanti...shanti!!

His Holiness The 14th Dalai Lama...Here's lookin' at you!!

I try to live my life based on the honour system. I believe that most people are good people unless they prove otherwise. I think that the world and its inhabitants have immeasurable potential to make the universe a more beautiful place to reside. But man do I ever get pissed sometimes when people really prove me wrong. I know I shouldn't let it get to me but sometimes this world seems so far gone that it appears next to impossible to pull our species back up to the shore.

I'm sure everyone has heard of the recent riots in Tibet and that the outcome of these riots is the possible resignation of his holiness the Dalai Lama, as the Leader striving for the freedom of his home land.

How far does a man need to be pushed before he resigns as the leader of freedom and peace for his homeland. Hu Jintao, President of the Peoples Republic of China, claimed that His Holiness the Dalai Lama was directly responsible for the recent protests. Now explain this to me, when China is now based on democracy and freedom how can it lead a battle against the people of Tibet and oppose their freedom for religion when it is promised by their constitution. These days honesty is still here but very fuzzy to the eyes.

I hope that the Dalai Lama and the Chinese government work out their differences...But if the Dalai Lama is made to step down then he was made, not only to stand up for us as humans and humanitarians, but to bow down from his post as Tibets freedom fighter...the world will go on turning and the Dalai Lama will continue to love and fight for compassion.

On another note...
Earth day has just past and I for one, with my new introductory to Yoga, am feeling more compassion for my planet than ever before, in he history of me. I believe in the choices that Adele and I are making to help us and to help repay the tab that we've rackin' up with Mother Earth.

This is gonna be a crazy year kids. We're gonna see some crazy shit go down soon.
But we're ready for it...There are a large number of us who know that life does go on...In the face of pure joy and pure sorrow...birds will sing and the sun will rise...clouds will come and go in this world and in the next...It is you and I that are infinite energy!!!

Namaste...shanti...shanti...shanti

Teacher Teach Me!!

I think that we've all been in those relationships that leave that little bit of negative residue. When you've been with someone for a while, whether it be 1 month to 5 years, and things don't quite work out you get some attitudes toward relationships, life and love.



I have been in two previous long term relationships (even though "long term" is a relative term). I will say that I was slightly jaded by them both... When you tell someone that you love them and then what you thought was love wasn't really what you wanted it to be...It leaves scars!! And then in every relationship after those you become a little more wary about saying the "L word". You're not sure if this one will end as the last two did. So you don't want to dig yourself deeper because then it's just too hard to pull yourself back up to level ground if it doesn't work out.



Admitedly I was a little wary when Adele and I first started getting serious... But by the way side go all inhibitions. I've told myself that I will never compare this relationship to past relationships. This is new!! Every moment is its own!! And that is how I treat this thing called love now!!



I have learned somethings over the years...1. Never stay in a relationship just because it feels comfortable and routine!! and 2. Don't be afraid to do things just because you've had some negative experiences!!



That being said....Adele and I just celebrated our 2 Year Anniversary together!!

What an amazing girl!! I've figured out that I can't date girls that are the opposite of me...Adele and I (although having our differnces) are essentially the same person only with different parts...wink...parts!! We balance each other!! And just when you think that love for another person has to be "this" way(because that's how you've experienced it in the past) you learn that love has no patterns, no definition and no boundary!! What I thought was love is not what I think about it now!! It's a wonderful thing!!! With its ups and downs, its twists and turns...with it's calm and stormy days.



I love Adele...with all my heart and soul...I care so deeply for what she thinks, what she says and what she is (even if I don't always make eye contact...eh Del!!).

We are constantly teaching each other about each other and I am always learning new things about myself because of Adele!!



Adele...I love you so much...my little Dellie Bear!!

You have become a part of my family (coltrane and me)!!


And like my sister says "Here's to 60 more years!!"



Spread the love people!!



Namaste...shanti...shanti...shanti

Painful circumstances...a door for growth!!

I've seen Tibetan monks before getting speared in the neck by other monks....WOW CRAZY!!
It's amazing how one man can stand his ground and stay calm while 4 other dudes are pushing a spear into his throat. I always wondered how someone remains so still in such circumstances.
This past weekend I put myself in that position.

First off, I will say that I love the art of tattooing. And it really is an art like no other. Its amazing what kind of pieces can be created with a tattoo gun these days.


I have loved and been slightly obsessed with tattoos since the age of 8. My father had a friend that he worked with who had a large dragon tattoo on his back. One day when I was 8 I went out our back door to go for a swim in da pool when I was AW struck by a beautiful sight. A brilliantly large piece of body art. Since that day I knew that I was destined to be part of the body modification community. Almost every year since that day I have begged my mother to get a tattoo.

Funny part is, I didn't get my first tat until I was 21. I made a deal with my mom that I could get pierced but I couldn't get a tattoo until my 21st birthday. Well I held true to that deal. I did get quite a few holes stabbed into my body but I held off on the body art. For my 21st birthday my parents (being the amazing people that they are) paid for me to go to New York City. I went down with the intention of going to the NYC Tattoo convention at the Roseland Ballroom to get my first (of many) tattoo.

I'd like to just say that I'm glad I waited or I would have gotten something stupid tattooed
on my person.

I ended up getting some Kanji on my inner arms that say "Beyond Language" which for me represents what drumming means to me....as well as what the Kanji means to me.

This past weekend I added to my ongoing collection with a new 3/4 sleeve on my right arm. The image is of a traditional Japanese warrior in a plain kimono. It's a night scene and he's holding a large lantern with falling Japanese Maple leaves all around!! Yeah...I know!!!! WICKED!!!



Six hours under the gun. Six hours of potential growth. How did I manage? YOGA!!! I used my breath to calm me down. I've found that recently, when faced with extenuating circumstances, that I can use my Yoga to keep me in the moment. Whether it be dealing with getting thousands of timy needles jammed into my skin for 6 hours or even just being out in the cold pumping my gas. The breath is a powerful thing if we can learn to harness it. For the tattoo I just kept my eyes closed and concentrated on taking deep and full breathes. Crazy enough...That shit works!!

Is there anything that Yoga can't do???

I think a lot of the process is just giving in to the situation. I knew that, no matter what, I was there until the outline was done. As soon as I came to terms with that I found that I became very centered and calm. It wasn't until around the last hour (when I knew I was almost done) that I started to get "antsy" and had a hard time centering. I also think that my body couldn't really take much more trauma.

All in all it was an enriching experience and the end definitely justified the means.

The power of Yoga never ceases to amaze me.

Namaste...shanti...shanti...shanti

"This will go well with my adversity!" - Theo Huxtable

Have you ever seen that episode of the Cosby Show when Theo comes home from college to raid Cliff and Claire's fridge. There is a conversation about the adversity for a college student and Theo pulls some sauce (which resembles shrimp sauce) and says...see Blog title.

As Yogis, we get a lot of flack!! Flack manifesting in comments, looks and just general attitudes toward us. We are taking the path less travelled ...and even though there have been thousands and thousands of people that macheted the path before us there are still some rough patches and thorns. I recently got a set of Mala beads, which I wear around my wrist with pride (but not bad pride). But looks, comments...no one really understands...but if I were to wear Rosery beads..that would be handy dandy with everyone.

Although sometimes the jokes are all in good fun...(for instance one of my co-workers calls me Karma-man!!) Sometimes it's just ignorance on their part. As we Yogis know Avidya (ignorance) is the root cause of all sorrow and all afflictions. The question is, how do you educate? I think, most times its just better to let comments roll off like rain. Some people don't want to be educated and I'm not gonna preach because preaching is not my styles. I will sing the praises of Yoga straight through to my next life but I will not preach to people about Yoga.

I will, however, tell people not to knock it until they try it. It's a powerful thing and you just need to get through some of the stigmas related to Yoga. My co-worker (previously mentioned) thinks that Yoga is for girls. One of my favourite retaliations is to say, "While you're hangin' out with a bunch of sweaty dudes at the gym I'll be hangin' out with the pretty girls doing Yoga."

I feel great when I see another guy in Yoga class. My Ashtanga class is full of guys...it's awesome to see the dudes openning their minds about Yoga. Even the basic Hatha classes that I teach are attracting the gentlmen (mostly because their female counterparts drag them to class) because once they realize that it actually can be quite demading they gain a whole new respect for the practice. And then it leads, like it did for me, to greater awareness. Even if that awareness come in just a physical aspect...It's awareness non-the-less.

So if you happen to read this Blog and you have not tried Yoga before or maybe you're from a certain lineage of Yoga and are interested in another...Just F-in do it!!! Yoga has something to offer everyone...And I mean everyone.

Namaste...shanti...shanti...shanti