Who's that...? Oh it's the Witness!!

A new-be to the Yoga world, I have just uncovered a treasure that is probably pretty apparent to most people who have followed Yogic or Buddhist philosophy for a while!!!! Jack Kornfield ;)
It totally happened by accident... I think that I had read his name on the home page of Yoga Journal...and then a couple of days later (possibly weeks...I live in the freakin moment...no time for days or weeks...) I found a Jack Kornfield book called After The Ecstasy, The Laundry. I was blown away by it. I won't go into the premise of the book...just read it or listen (I actually have the audio book).

You know how sometimes you'll hear a piece of advice coming from a whirlwind of sources telling you "This is the way...Do it like this!!" And you'll hear this advice about a thousand and six times... and then one day you're just sitting in your car on your break. And you begin to listen Jack Kornfield on your ipod. *And keep in mind I've never heard this mans voice before* And all of a sudden you hear this soft, calm, slow but exceedingly comfortable voice. And this voice tells you "This is the way...Do it like this!!" And somehow you seem to forget every other time you heard the advice in past because those times mean nothing now that you're really hearing it for the first time!!
Welcome to my new reality.

So now that I am a pseudo student of Jack's (we're tight), and have been meditating more and more... I am lead to the place that meditation can take you... The Witness! I don't think that I ever spent too much time in the Witness. Being Unbiased and neutral but still very enthusiastic about that which is being witnessed... I was pretty complacent as a youth...super lazy and un-involved... I was interested in knowledge and philosophy and science but was just so unmotivated to take any of it... But now? I'm am witnessing some crazy shit!!! When you meditate you really start to examine what your sources are. Where you came from... What choices you have made you who you are?

Today I really figured out that exceeding low self-esteem is my main reason for being a Yogi today. It was this lack of self-esteem that lead me to weight training... It was weight training and a real interest in myself that lead me to feeling comfortable in my own skin. It was also this interest that lead me to being interested in Anatomy and Physiology... which in turn lead to and lead to and lead to until we're here. And I found Yoga!!

But the things that I've heard over and over and just realized lately are all about our generosity in life. How much are we willing to give? How much time, how much effort? This concept of giving really put it's hand on me a couple of days ago when I was teaching a semi private session. Both of my students came in feeling depressed and sub-par. During our warm up of Sun Salutations I had said something to the effect that "In our Yoga practice we need to have a little faith... Faith in yourself to lead you to the right place in your practice and faith in the breath to help get you there." This really struck an accord with one of the girls so much that she actually stopped doing Sun A and just wanted to listen to what I had to say. She asked me a question and then another and rather than teaching Asana for the rest of the session we just talked. They asked questions and I gave answers if I had them.

The thing that I like most about Yoga is that it's so experiential... You need to do it to get it. "99% practice" as Pattabhi Jois says. So most of my answers for the ladies were based on my experiences and how I interpreted such experiences. The more questions they asked, the more I found myself really sharing my story with them. Telling them things that even my friends don't really hear about. After the session we all hugged and I felt this feeling that I had never gotten after teaching a class... This feeling that I had done something generous.... My epiphany... By listening to their questions and sharing my experiences I had practiced generosity. And it felt good.... Could this be a trend!!??

So hear it is....you've heard it before... Generosity is the key!! Generosity to those around you and also generosity towards yourself. Try it if you haven't. Real generosity... without consideration of reward or praise... just pure generosity!! Keeping with the season, now is the perfect time.

Namaste...shanti...shanti...shanti

When Challenged, Do I Run or Breath?

Lightly close the eyes...bring your attention to your breath...keep concentration on the cooling sensation on your inhalations and the warming sensation on exhalation at the rim of the nostrils...hold this concentraion strong for a few moments...now relax your concentration...Today we meditate on the sense of compassion...To deeply feel compassion toward all living things we must first bring our awareness to the suffering of all living things...Think of all the suffering that happens all around the world...think of suffering from the very extreme to the very subtle...from the poverty that happens all around the us to the subtle suffering of someone who stresses out over losing $100 at the casino...and think of every suffering in between...these are all types of suffering no matter how minute... Now imagine that every living being on our world could be free of all their suffering no matter how big or how small...now hold this feeling at your heart...hold it strongly without waivering your concentration...

This is a meditation that I've found myself doing quite a bit since I've been taking a Buddhist meditation course for the past 8 weeks...And it helps. I talked a bit last time on how I've been feeling more compassion towards people and things in general. I feel that meditation has really helped me deal with my stresses no matter how minor they may seem. Even on my yoga mat I've been learning to treat myself with compassion by thinking about my stresses and sufferings on my mat. I've come to the conclusion that sometimes I fear slowing down and sometimes I fear trying new poses (especially crazy looking ones). And as much of a cliche as it is "We need to find that balance between will and surrender." We need to stay mindful and treat every challenge with acceptance and compassion.

And this is my lead-in to something that instantly made me want to write.... It was a weekend of learning about how others use compassion and mindfulness to over come, what seem to me, great challenges in life. The first such instance came on Saturday when Adele's friend Lara sent her a video that we watched. I've posted the link here so you can watch and be inspired by someone elses courage. The video was about a small baby (Eliot) that was born with major health complications. Eliot was not even expected to make it through childbirth. Instead of being so overwhelmed by this challenge that they would complain and give up, the parents treated every second that their son was alive as a miracle. They accepted their child's condition not as a challenge but as opprotunity to be with him every day he was alive. I was on the verge of tears wathcing this video.

The second instance was Saturday night while watching Gandhi (the movie). I'd never seen Gandhi or really knew too much about his struggles in this life. It was truly an inspiring telling of his life. A man that saw injustice and needed in his heart to stand an fight...but without violence!! BRAVO!! What a true hero to mankind. A selfless man who mealry wanted equality for his fellow man. And was willing to stand-up to any challenge with compassion. This movie also brought me to the verge of tears...compassion filled tears.

This weekend was a great inspiration to me and really brings home what I am learning in Buddhist Meditation... That my meditations be cause to help end the suffering of not only myself but those around me. Whether I only effect one or many I try to live in this compassionate state. And whether you follow the teachings of Buddha or Christ or Vedantic traditions... they all teach the same thing... We are all brothers and sisters of this vast universe... We are all someones Mother or Father, Son or Daughter.

I meet the challenge of treating everyone as my sister or brother with compassionate open arms and not aversion.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qILw1iFzmIE
this is the video!!

Namaste...shanti...shanti...shanti

This Is Not A Lamp!! WTF!!

So how right was Bob Dylan when he said, "These times they are a changin'."
Super right!!!

He could not have been more true than right now in time. So many things are changing
at this time.... Not only are the leaves changing from a deep green to those beautiful shades of
of red, yellow and burgendy but so much more than that.

In Canada we recently had an election for our Prime Minister (and even though it's the same dude as last time). This election was a record low for voter turn out at a whopping 54%...CRAZY!! Is it that people don't care about who's running the show or are we all just fed up with the same political bullshit. All the promises that fall by the way side once a person is elected...All the new taxes that seep out of our wages to support this and that when really the money goes toward taking a limo to the corner store. Needless to say I was disappointed when I heard that the turn out was so poor. But on a higher, more resonant note, the Green Party (for whom I voted) had the highest record of votes in their party's history. Which tells me that people are definitely taking the importance of the environment more seriously. So that's the politics portion.

Hhhhmmmmm...what else is changing...oh wait...just my perception of reality!!!
I have been taking a Buddhist Meditation course for the past 8 weeks at the Samudra Buddhist Temple in my city of Hamilton. It is truly a Lotus springing out of the mud (it's in a not so good area of town-but sorely needed). This part of my journey is bringing a lot of things into light. I am now questioning my self, my surroundings and everything even the kitcken sink these days. I and learned last night that there is no kitchen sink....WTF!!! I'm still trying to wrap my mind around that one. I find myself with more clarity. I find myself in the witness more these days, especially when it comes to my reactions toward people and certain scenarios. I'm not so reactive in traffic, I'm not so put down by bad weather and the most amazing thing is that I'm not so angered by people that I would usually find Uber-irritating. Let's give it up for MEDITATION!!! Oh and I was way less reactive when I tried to write a blog the other day and as soon as I got to the end something crashed and the entry was lost...but it lead the way for this entry!!

Things in this world are getting crazy people...are you ready handle it...calmly?
If you're not and you're interested in preparing check out this website
http://www.getselfcentered.com/ It has some great insight!!

If the goal of life is to love (truly love)...Yoga will help us to get there.

Namaste...shanti...shanti...shanti

For show...but still!!

So here I am again, having not posted in more than a month and asking myself why I even do this...!?!? But never the less, I love to write when I am inspired to. And let me tell you, last Sunday I was deeply inspired. My wonderful partner, Adele and I, have been having an amazing Summer... We've gone camping a few times, went to art exhibits, walked the streets of Toronto and Montreal and last weekend we saw the beautiful show that is Cirque De Soleil. The name of the show was Saltimbanco (which is one of the original shows). HOLY SHIT!!!! That stuff is crazy. So many fantastically talented people who really excel in their chosen field. There were gymnasts, dancers, clowns, actors, singers and athletes of all kinds. The show was without a doubt the most visually stunning display that I have ever seen.

This also brings up a point that I'd like to address. When I told my teacher that I was going to see Cirque we had a great conversation about how beautiful the show is and how visually impressive it is to see such control of the body. We talked about how watching that can really inspire a Yoga practice. And how when you see these things it makes you realize that some of the poses that we think are physically out of our reach can really be possible. Then she brought up the point that it's all for show... And yes obviously it's all for show!!! I paid $70 to see it!!But still...

These people might not be getting into Cirque to connect with their "True Self" but you really have to admire the Tapas and discipline that it takes to get to that level. I personally think that even though these things are done for performance, some of the same "Yoga rules" still apply. It takes quite a bit of physical awareness and concentration to do a single arm handstand on another persons head. I've never been in that kind of situation to tell you if the breath is involved...but I can assume that it is. Even if it's not being used as a vehicle to personal and universal enlightenment, somewhere in there is some sort of realization. I'm also assuming that, at some point, these performers have had to leave their ego's in the dressing room and just "show up" to the performance.

So as Yogis, we should never just play these things off as just being for show... we are all putting the same amount of energy into it. Some people just choose to put their energy into different places. But in the reality of it all...if they didn't do what they do (and perfectly too) I wouldn't have had an amazing show to watch and wouldn't have been inspired to write this post or I wouldn't have had the realization that it might just be possible to transition from Bakasana to Handstand with a little Tapas and an open mind.

Namaste...shanti...shanti...shanti

PS...it was a girl....Samantha Page Overholt...good job sis!!

I Am My Own Master...my own guru

Since my inception to Yoga some year and a bit ago I have grown...and then shrunk...and then I have grown again. These are the stages of our lives. We go through periods of ups and downs... we all know this. In this past year I have found myself enlightened (even if slightly) and then just as confused by Yoga. At times my practice is clear and concise. I'm consistent with my asana practice. I practice my meditation 3-4 days a week. I do breath work on a regular basis. And then there are times when I find myself making excuses not to step onto my mat. I am easily distracted away from my meditative state. And while practicing my Kapala Bhati, breath is the furthest thing from my mind.

I am currently working through a really amazing book that is helping to put my practice into a wide screen, director's cut kind of view. Meditations from the Mat by Rolf Gates has been a hand reaching through the muck to help me out of some deep muddy pits. The book consists of 365 essays meant to be read day by day. Unfortunately I find my self not always with time to read a chapter so I opt for reading as much as I can, when I can. It's a wicked book full of so much insight. It deals with Rolf's insight on the Yamas and Niyamas as it has related to situations and scenarios in his own life. Simple fact is, is that we all go through some of the same types of situations. And having a book of stories about how one man has dealt with his life stresses is great as a reference for someone like me, on this path of Yoga.

I recently read chapter 44 which talks about "Right Action". Gates talks of his plans to meet with a financial planner but just kept putting it off. He finally takes this "Right Action" and wastes no more time getting his finances into balance. He says that, "It's about our actions and not our good intentions. If we want self-esteem, we must do estimable things." He goes on to say that we must not wait for that "feeling-good" momentum to start our "Right Action". "If you want to meditate, staple your butt to the cushion; sooner or later your mind will quiet down." What great advice.

Since reading this I have found myself lifted up once more out of the mud. I taught my first workshop Yesterday... and it felt amazing. I had a great turn-out, mostly beginners. The 3 hour workshop focused on breaking down the movements of the Ashtanga Sun Salutations A & B and then stringing the movements together into the beautiful dance that is Surya Namaskar. I spent an hour just teaching Ujjayi Pranayama until everyone in the room felt pretty comfortable...and then we began!! I love teaching... I always have.

When I started to get really good at the drums and people asked me about what I knew, I would graciously share my experiences and knowledge. When I started to become very proficient at weight training people in the gym would always ask me about my workouts...and once again I was more than willing to help and teach technique and focus. Now that it comes to Yoga I find myself always answering questions from students and non-students. I could go on for hours answering these inquiries. And knowing that I don't have the answer all the time.

This is where chapter 44 comes in...right action...I love to learn and teach...now it's time to take right action...I have decided that learning and teaching Yoga is my calling...I feel a deep resonance with this path in life. No matter the ups or downs...Yoga is there...Yoga is consistently bringing me back up and reminding me of my capabilities. It helps bring me back to my mat, back to my Zafu and back to my breath. It helps bring me back into my relationships and helps take me out of my ego.

All right...time for some more Right Action!! Time to go work Jump Throughs!!

"Take up space, be grand, act great!"
-Rolf Gates, Meditations from the Mat; pg59

I'd like to dedicate this entry to my new niece or nephew... not sure until tomorrow!!

Namaste...shanti...shanti...shanti

i free like child

*this is an excerpt from a shpeel that I used for class on Wed. June 25th*

Today's class is about having fun... And I don't say that as to imply that we don't have fun here... It's all about the play... It's all about coming here and hangin' out with each other... We come... We do some poses... We stretch... We laugh... We breathe... You come here every Wednesday... And the great thing is that you commit yourself to coming... You make the commitment to show up and sometimes that's the hardest part... To show up. You commit yourself to taking time out of life's busy nature... To taking time to play!!!

It's all about getting that feeling back... It's about getting back that awareness...

Just think, for a second, about the life of a child... Perhaps even your own child... Or maybe a niece or nephew... Possibly a friends child just to cover all the bases!
These children that possess unbound awareness in everything that they see, hear, touch, smell, taste... Everything is new... Every moment, every second, every breath is a learning experience... Somewhere along the way most of us lose that connection to awareness... We play everything off like we've seen it before... We lose that ability to treat every moment as a chance to learn something new.

And this is one of the wonders of Yoga... It's purpose is to reconnect us with that awareness... To help us smell every scent, hear every sound, see every sight and really take the time to breathe and appreciate every breath... And as we get more connected to awareness we allow ourselves to play freely without fear... Without a sense of foolishness... Being mindful and deeply rooted in our practice but allowing ourselves to "Play the edge" just a little bit... Be like a child. Willing to step near the edge and play. Flirt with the unknown momentarily.

It's about trying to get as close as possible to that line that separates Will and Surrender... Having the willingness to try and do these poses... Having the willingness to really challenge your physical body, the willingness to challenge your "mental" by staying connected to the practice and to the breath... But, at the same time, being able to surrender the body and the mind... Surrender to the possibilities of not only Yoga itself but more importantly surrender your body and mind to the possibilities of You... The endless nature of your capabilities...

Once we can play at the edge without fear of possibilities...without fear of outcome... by surrendering all of our efforts to something higher than our need to succeed... once we can let go... childlike freedom is ours!!!

So I invite you children of young and old.... PLAY!!!!

Namaste...shanti...shanti...shanti!

The Yoga Challenge!!

There is true dichotomy in this force we call Yoga...the dichotomy of balance. The balance between effort and surrender within the Asanas (poses). The balance of your inhalations and exhalations, as you breathe through effort and into surrender. And, of the utmost importance is the equanimity of knowing when to step up to the challenge (whether on or off your mat) and when to stand down...

It's almost like the song The Gambler by Kenny Rogers...and it's true...You gotta know when to hold 'em or know when to fold 'em.........

So today, I pose to you a challenge. And it's not just a challenge of the body (no Headstands for 100 breaths) but also a challenge of the mind...

All of this, knowing when to step up and knowing when to take a knee...it's all there inside you...it's called intuition. It is the unexplainable energy that fuels us... It is the unmistakable feeling that in the present time, you know exactly what is right for you to do in that precise moment...You handle the situation breath by breath...

And this is what Yoga is. Yoga is knowing (through experience) and doing what's right for you... Yoga is about getting to know...reeeeally know...Yourself. Getting to know yourself so well, in fact, that you can intuit every situation... So that you can live your life knowing what to do and when to do it but also what not to do and when to let go.

So your challenge (for anyone who might read this....Really only Adele reads this!!) is to honour yourself today...Honour everything about yourself...Honour everything you like...everything you don't like...every bit of muscle and every bit of fat...every Asana that you find freedom in and every Asana that you hate and struggle with...Honour every thought about your baby niece and every thought about that person that cut you off in traffic...Honour your body and honour your mind..... what's the best way....breathe and accept!!!

Namaste...shanti...shanti...shanti!!