To Sangha

This one is for friends, for family, for supporters but also for sceptics, for those who don't believe in connection. Or for those who don't believe that you can find solace and support in people of like mind and value.

I feel absolutely blessed to be where I am in my life right now. I am slowly but surely making my way into teaching Yoga full time (which if you ask Adele isn't such a great idea because she'll lose her personal trainer... no worries sweety... I'll make you do walking lunges til death due us part!!). I'm teaching more classes, doing workshops and teaching some privates here and there. I feel as though I'm inspiring my students and in turn they inspire me. I'm teaching at 3 really great studios in the Hamilton area. But one of the most amazing things about being a Yogi is the community that exists for us. Especially De La Sol, where I teach the bulk of my classes. It's an amazing studio. We're all relatively young teachers there, with varying levels of experience. But it's such a sharing and giving environment. Every teacher has a wealth of knowledge that they're willing to pass on at the drop of a hat. We're a very open community of teachers.

This past Sunday De La Sol held a grand re-opening party for their new studio. The community was invited to join us for free food, wine and entertainment. The turn out was phenomenal. The energy and conversation flowed as freely as the local wines and for me, the pomegranate iced tea.

It was really an amazing group of people. I got to talk to teachers and more importantly students (which you sometimes don't get a chance to do). We shared stories, laughs and hugs!! My friend Natalie and I got to perform a demonstration of our Partner Yoga practice. A routine which we diligently and meticulously choreographed. Katie's sister, Melissa McClelland (Canadian Singer/Song Writer) performed some of her songs. All in all, a fulfilling night.

Basically what I'm trying to say is that it's awesome that there's a place where we can go and practice Yoga and teach Yoga and just be Yoga. And while doing all these Yogic type things there is a community of like minded people right there with you. People that you can share experience with. People that you can learn from and people that want to learn from you. I can go to De La Sol even when I'm not teaching or taking class and just hang out in the lounge and read a book. Or even sign out a book from their Yoga library.

For anyone who might read this. There are places in your community where this happens. If you're not part of a Sangha (community), try going to your local Yoga studio. Yogis tend to be very welcoming people.

We're all in this together... All beings everywhere just want to be happy!!

Here is a quote that I heard today from my friend Andre...

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” -Rumi

Namaste...shanti...shanti...shanti

Inspiration Station!!

So in class sometimes I'll relay the concept of non-attachment by saying that, "What may be here today might not be here tomorrow." Especially when it comes to, the sometimes elusive, heels touching the ground in Downward Facing Dog. So with this sense of non-attachment we can cultivate a even more powerful sense of contentment. Things are the way they are... and that is the real truth. That whole concept holds no truer than right now.

I spent a while today writ ting a blog. And in my mind it was a really great blog... and I felt it was an amazing representation of how I was feeling at the time... which was extremely inspired. It had fantastic literary content... everything that a budding young blogger would be proud of!! Unfortunately I wasn't able to finish the blog before I had to go teach. So as I sat down about 5 minutes ago and proceeded to load up my account, I was excited to finish the revelation that had the potential to save the world. And I soon realized that my entry didn't save.... DIDN'T SAVE!!

And I'm not saying that this experience is unique (although at the heart of it...every experience in unique). Everyday there is "work" done by somebody somewhere. And Everyday certain circumstances happen to eradicate said "work". And when I realized that my blog entry wasn't there, and that my ideas were lost and my words were lost, my natural reaction would have been one of anger, disappointment and fear. But as I felt some of those natural, habitual reactions coming to the surface something was different this time. I let it go!! I just let it go!! Impermanence!! Wow...!! I hear Jack Kornfield and others talking about it all the time. The fact that nothing around us is permanent. Even the things (ourselves) that grasp at these impermanence's are impermanent... I heard that somewhere.

And as easy as it could have been to try and re-write my elusive blog, it wouldn't be coming from the same inspiration that I first felt. It would be more of me trying to remember a string of thoughts, that at the time were representative of what I was thinking. It would be me grasping at impermanence. And just as I learned something this morning that I wanted to share, I just now had a personal milestone... and a grand revelation... hopefully, that revelation will be here tomorrow... and if not... for a time that revelation graced my presence.

But I will say that my blog was basically saying that my friend Natalie is becoming a fantastic Yoga teacher. She teaches inspiring classes... and this morning she inspired me and made me realize some major things. Today has been a busy day for me!!

This has been a PSA brought to you by the powers of Yoga.

Namaste...shanti...shanti...shanti

Back again!!

Greetings to all!!! It's definitely been a while since my last blog entry!! But So many amazing things have happened:D For a while life was pretty complicated.... I was getting to be very unhappy and unsettled at my job. My boss is a little bit of a spazz!! For those of you who are familiar with the Ayurvedic sciences, he is an extremely out of balance Vata. He can't hold a conversation for more than 2 minutes without being completely distracted by the thoughts in his head. And it's funny because he knows that he needs Yoga more than anyone and always pokes fun at me and my students for doing Yoga... He tries to be a real "Mans Man" and play off that weight lifting is what guys should be doing and Yoga should be left for the females. And he wouldn't dare be caught meditating or chanting because he has this unrealistic image to uphold. Anyway it was getting to the point where I couldn't bare to work for him. We have so many conflicting views on fitness, diet and even health in general. I don't agree with the way he runs his business (from a pure money grubbing, greedy stand point) or the way he treats his clientel (once the money's in... who are you?). Don't get me wrong... Inside he has a really great heart, but his damn head keeps getting in the way!!

Anyway, I left that job... it was a well needed change. I was crazy nervous before I gave my 2 weeks notice. Mainly because I didn't really know how my boss would react. It was either going to be fine or I was going to end up with a black eye and a broken nose. I used my 7 Spiritual Laws meditations to keep me centered and on the right path while this whole situation unravelled. Om Ritam Namah... My intentions and desires are supported by the universe... that was a big help!! It gets confusing sometimes when life is changing... I think most of us second guess ourselves when really big decisions need to be made... I just made my intention to leave clear, gave my notice and let the Universe take care of the rest. It went OK!! He was sad to see me go but knew that I was following my dream of teaching Yoga full time. So that is that... for those of you that know me, you know that there's more to that story but I'll spare the drama to anyone else.

As well, Adele and I were having problems with our living situation. A couple had moved in to one of the ajacent apartments. At first they seemed like really nice people but as time went on we discovered that they were not what we thought. I got bad vibes from the girl right away. I'm pretty good with energy and she was oozing with bad energy!! She could really get under skin and as bad as it is to say, I sometimes allowed her to bring the worst out in me!! I've always had a hard time with non-judgement. Because I spent a little chunk of my life being judged and ridiculed I had a tendency to relay that into even more judgement... a brutal cycle. I concentrate really hard sometimes trying to control it. Anyway, As the months went by Adele and I started to get really annoyed with them. They would come by without calling or texting first and would actually look in our living room window to see if we were home. Just no privacy and a little.. CREEPY!! It started to get to the point where we were trying to avoid them all together. If they would knock on our door we wouldn't answer. Some nights we would just sit in silence, with the TV on Mute, if we heard them walking up to our door. This was not a really healthy way to live and me being the King of Non-Confrontation we didn't tell them to just leave us alone. So Adele and I found a new apartment. It's a great new place with more room, free cable (free Comedy Network!!) and free internet.... oh and free parking and laundry!! Crisis Averted!!

So life has been crazy!! During the move our computer crashed, which is why I have been MIA from the blogging community... Adele and I are now engaged... since March 8th (which just happened to be the 3 year anniversary of our first date). I am awesomely excited about that!! I am still doing some personal training but am slowly making my way into teaching Yoga full time. I'm teaching @ 3 different studios and it's going great!! I'm getting myself a website so that everyone can find where I'm teaching and training. I'm also considering taking an Ayurvedic Physicians program in Toronto. Sometimes it really amazes me how much Yoga has changed and enriched my life.

For those interested, I am teaching Monday nights 5:45-6:45 @ MBC studios,
Thursday nights 7:30-9 @ Shanti Yoga, and Saturday morning 10:15-11:45 and 1-2:30 @ De La Sol Yoga (I teach Hot Flow there)
Starting on July 6th I'll also be teaching an 8 week Ashtanga intro at St. Cuthbert's Church in Westdale from 7-8:30.

To all of you... it's good to be back!!

I leave you with a quote that really is hitting me lately...

"Never doubt that a small group of committed people can change the world!
Indeed it is the only thing that ever has." - I think this is Margaret Mead?!?

Namaste...shanti...shanti...shanti!!

The Value of a Good Cartoon!!

Remember back in the day (what ever day that may be) when you would watch a show that just had a good message or moral behind the story. Like Fat Albert for instance. Bill Cosby would always have his little segment where he would share with the viewer some sort of valuable message, like don't judge a book by its cover or eat jell-o pudding pops. Or at the end of the Care Bears when they would have the Care A Lot skit.....oh.... like that one where those two kids are fighting over the lime green Popsicle and then it breaks and melts on the floor..... no one got the Popsicle!!! Then Cheer Bear would show up with another Lime Green Popsicle and break it in half and disperse the parts equally.... and everyone was happy!!!! And these are the messages that are missing in alot of today's programming.

So recently I've been watching the anime sensation Avatar: The Last Air Bender. For those of you that don't know, The Avatar is a cartoon about a little Buddhist monk whose destiny it is to save the world from the Evil Fire Nation.

The show is laced with amazing little stories and morals and most of them based in a realm of Buddhist and Yogic philosophy. There's even an episode where the Avatar (Aang is his name) has to meet up with a Yoga guru so that he may help Aang open and master his 7 Chakras. Although most people aren't going to master and clear their Chakras in 5 minutes like Aang did,
it's still pretty amazing to see a cartoon that teaches kids about these philosophies. As well, when it comes time for Aang to defeat the Fire Lord (basically killing him) Aang remembers his Buddhist morals and instead of destroying the Evil Fire Lord he chooses the path of non-violence and merely takes away the Fire Lord's powerful ability to control fire.

All in all, I would have to say that I would recommend that anyone should watch the Avatar....from young to old. There are several valuable lessons to be learned and it's also
got some really amazing animation, general plot, great character development and it's pretty damn funny in my books.....it also made me cry a little bit!!

So think about it the next time you're thinking of something interesting and entertaining to watch....there's a show out there that actually has a base of true virtue underlying a dynamic story!!!

GO AVATAR!!!

Namaste...shanti...shanti...shanti

Making His way Home - ode to my Uncle Ferg

My Uncles funeral was yesterday... not a dry eye in the house!! The man was so well loved!! Yogis say that sometimes the practice of Asana can become a spontaneous meditation and release of creative energy. In Flow Class today my goal was to cultivate a pure practice of gratitude. To be grateful for every breath and every movement. As well, I dedicated my practice to my Uncle Ferg. During Savasana this poem started to write itself.


Making His Way Home
by Steven Ferrell

Today they say a man was lost.
And to the ground his body tossed.
To be cycled through this world again
as husband, uncle, father, friend...

His body not betrayed himself
instead a life of loving wealth
His last smile felt,
His last breath breathed,
But still I hold no sense of grief.

For as lay in smiles, in sun
I see the grace in everyone,
In eyes, in leaves
In gowns and graves,
And every time a child is made.

I feel we need to all embrace
each stage of life in time we'll face.
In his death and rebirth,
In our sadness and fear,
His flesh now gone, his heart still here.

So don't consider him lost today.
When we think on him he's not alone
As guide and guru along this path
My Duke is making his way home

One Comes In and One Goes Out

So for anyone that might actually read my blog.... It's a hell of a long time since my last post!!! For anyone that cares... um sorry!!

But as the Sixth Spiritual Law says "Om Anandham Namah - My actions are blissfully free from attachment to outcome" So writing or not writing... Readers or no readers, here I am.

A lot of crazy hazy stuff has been happening lately and as they say... things always come in 3's.

Number one, which is in continuation as we speak, my Uncle Ferg is one of the millions that have fallen victim to cancer. One of the most beautiful men that I knew, had been diagnosed with Lung Cancer a little over a year ago. Apparently when he was a child he was drinking unpasteurized milk and caught a bad case of Tuberculosis which the doctors say was the beginning of the cancer.... which I don't really understand but I'm not a doctor. Non the less my uncle later developed two tumors in his lung (both substantial in size). And this is where the roller coaster begins. Uncle Ferg had his first cycle of radiation and responded amazingly. One of the tumors had shrunk from the size of a baseball to the size of a nickle and the other tumor had almost completely disappeared.... HOORAY!! The operation to remove the tumors was successful and we thought that this was it...he's going to make a full recovery. And he was already starting to grow his hair back (which had resembled an "greaser" style like a young Elvis Presley) previous to the radiation.

I am a huge believer that you must facilitate your own own healing process... you need to be the most active participant!! Unfortunately, like most others, my Uncle Ferg had just relied on the doctors to do cure him. Being that my Mom and Aunt are both very knowledgeable in the ways of holistic nutrition, they tried to make suggestions but to no avail. He was to "Old Skool" and skeptical to try anything (even a shot wheat grass). I believe that it was this lack of care for himself that eventually led to my uncle getting another tumor and then bone cancer. Which brings forth the question in my mind..."Why would you not want to know or heal your own body?"

Needless to say I am attending my Uncles funeral tomorrow. But while he lived, he was a hilariously funny man with a lot of love to give. He will be missed!!

2nd.... It has been decided that my father, wonderful as he is, is no longer allowed to step onto or off of the back of a pick up truck. About three weeks ago my dad, who has been taking care of my Uncle Fergs property while he's was sick, broke his leg..... oh you old bastard.... can I say that.... not very Yogic but what-a-ya-gonna do...?? He was trying to get a snow blower off the back of his pick-up truck when his proprioception failed and he stepped into space and came crashing down on his heel. As a result, he now has a vertical hairline fracture of his Fibula...Boooooo!!!! Fortunately enough, the break wasn't major and he is healing nicely without the use of a cast or any surgery (just a brace). Man I love that guy!!

And last but not least.... The Wednesday after my dad broke his leg I got a call from my mom saying that my 3 yr old niece Emma had a seizure. Frightening!!! It was 3 in the morning when Emma had gone into my sisters room because she couldn't sleep. My sister took Emma back to her room and was soothing her back to sleep when Emma started to seize. Even now when I think of what that must have been like for my sister, I get queezie!! After 3 weeks and several tests later (CT, EEG) Emma has not had another seizure and they still have not figured out what caused it.

So this is where I'm at!! A seizing niece, a broken dad and a dead uncle.....wow!!!

And this is the thing.... Yoga has helped me deal with it all. The grief, the death, the fear, the pain, the worry.... Yoga (and Adele) has helped me cope with all of it!! And I think these days, when all of this is so common in my life ( and in most peoples), seeing people with cancer or just getting ill, the gift of Yoga and spirituality is such a blessing. It, along with meditation, lends me the tools to explore and know myself and the world around me.... I'm learning to be more mindful.... I'm learning to see the grace in all things (from birth to death)... I'm learning that I don't always need to react and now I can respond. Life is a grand dance and when one song is ending another song begins.

This is for you Uncle Ferg... you crazy old fart!!

"One comes in and one goes out." -Jack Johnson

Namaste...shanti...shanti...shanti

Who's that...? Oh it's the Witness!!

A new-be to the Yoga world, I have just uncovered a treasure that is probably pretty apparent to most people who have followed Yogic or Buddhist philosophy for a while!!!! Jack Kornfield ;)
It totally happened by accident... I think that I had read his name on the home page of Yoga Journal...and then a couple of days later (possibly weeks...I live in the freakin moment...no time for days or weeks...) I found a Jack Kornfield book called After The Ecstasy, The Laundry. I was blown away by it. I won't go into the premise of the book...just read it or listen (I actually have the audio book).

You know how sometimes you'll hear a piece of advice coming from a whirlwind of sources telling you "This is the way...Do it like this!!" And you'll hear this advice about a thousand and six times... and then one day you're just sitting in your car on your break. And you begin to listen Jack Kornfield on your ipod. *And keep in mind I've never heard this mans voice before* And all of a sudden you hear this soft, calm, slow but exceedingly comfortable voice. And this voice tells you "This is the way...Do it like this!!" And somehow you seem to forget every other time you heard the advice in past because those times mean nothing now that you're really hearing it for the first time!!
Welcome to my new reality.

So now that I am a pseudo student of Jack's (we're tight), and have been meditating more and more... I am lead to the place that meditation can take you... The Witness! I don't think that I ever spent too much time in the Witness. Being Unbiased and neutral but still very enthusiastic about that which is being witnessed... I was pretty complacent as a youth...super lazy and un-involved... I was interested in knowledge and philosophy and science but was just so unmotivated to take any of it... But now? I'm am witnessing some crazy shit!!! When you meditate you really start to examine what your sources are. Where you came from... What choices you have made you who you are?

Today I really figured out that exceeding low self-esteem is my main reason for being a Yogi today. It was this lack of self-esteem that lead me to weight training... It was weight training and a real interest in myself that lead me to feeling comfortable in my own skin. It was also this interest that lead me to being interested in Anatomy and Physiology... which in turn lead to and lead to and lead to until we're here. And I found Yoga!!

But the things that I've heard over and over and just realized lately are all about our generosity in life. How much are we willing to give? How much time, how much effort? This concept of giving really put it's hand on me a couple of days ago when I was teaching a semi private session. Both of my students came in feeling depressed and sub-par. During our warm up of Sun Salutations I had said something to the effect that "In our Yoga practice we need to have a little faith... Faith in yourself to lead you to the right place in your practice and faith in the breath to help get you there." This really struck an accord with one of the girls so much that she actually stopped doing Sun A and just wanted to listen to what I had to say. She asked me a question and then another and rather than teaching Asana for the rest of the session we just talked. They asked questions and I gave answers if I had them.

The thing that I like most about Yoga is that it's so experiential... You need to do it to get it. "99% practice" as Pattabhi Jois says. So most of my answers for the ladies were based on my experiences and how I interpreted such experiences. The more questions they asked, the more I found myself really sharing my story with them. Telling them things that even my friends don't really hear about. After the session we all hugged and I felt this feeling that I had never gotten after teaching a class... This feeling that I had done something generous.... My epiphany... By listening to their questions and sharing my experiences I had practiced generosity. And it felt good.... Could this be a trend!!??

So hear it is....you've heard it before... Generosity is the key!! Generosity to those around you and also generosity towards yourself. Try it if you haven't. Real generosity... without consideration of reward or praise... just pure generosity!! Keeping with the season, now is the perfect time.

Namaste...shanti...shanti...shanti