Who Inspires you and who do you inspire.... My Personal Hero: Michael J. Fox

Been a while folks... I miss this in my heart as always... which is really what keeps bringing me back. I've always been one to write. In grade school I would write stories that the average expressive 8 year old boy would write. You know, the craziest little story about space and monsters with those funny little grade 3 animations... Arms too big, one leg longer, one eye bigger... If that was what I thought I looked like back then, I've definitely gotten better and more proportioned with age. In high school I really got deep into music, beat poets and really good lyricists. And even today, the first two things that I listen for in a good band are drums and vocals. You can never beat someone with a great voice, a moving message and a phat beat to back them up. I still have most of my poetry, lyrics and random ravings in a shoe box in my closet.

I think that one of the reasons that I'm back now is that there is just too much happening in my life, as of recent, that I couldn't not document it. So many things are going on right now. At times it's over whelming but thank Krishna for my breath...inhale...exhale

I think in earlier posts I've mentioned a beautiful, energetic young lady named Adele Lynn Oliver. We met 4 years ago and a smidgen back. Adele was working at a local organic grocery store as the Kitchen Manager and I would come in and buy food from her all the time. One day she asked me out for drinks, I said, "how about tonight?" And we've been inseparable ever since. It was actually Adele that introduced me to Yoga and got me into Blogging (I can't believe I just used blogging as a verb). So last year I propose to Adele, she says yes, of course. And now, one year and a smidgen ahead, we are getting married. AWESOME!!!! Planning a wedding however is not so awesome:(
But it's fun to say the least. I love you Adele:)

I'm not sure if I've ever mentioned my interest in Anusara Yoga?.?.?.? I discovered Anusara Yoga very accidentally. I don't even really know how it happened but one day I found my self reading an article about John Friend. The article was very interesting... He talked about finding alignment in poses and these "Loop Thingies" as Martin Kirk says, to help re-establish your optimal physical posture. This interests me because I'm ridiculously drawn to the workings of our physical bodies... I too am a self proclaimed anatomy geek. Ever since I read that article I was intrigued by Anusara. More recently I went to a workshop being held by an Anusara teacher from Toronto, Michael Siddall. I'd been reading more and more about Anusara on their website and in Yoga Journal, doing some videos from The Grand Gathering and this was the perfect opportunity to get some hands on experience in this practice. The workshop was amazing!! It was everything that I was looking for. The spirituality (Opening to grace), the physical alignment, all the very subtle aspects of Anusara.

Since then, I've also taken a few Anusara classes locally. But the most profound experience, so far, was going to the Toronto Yoga Conference and taking a 6 hour workshop with Anusara Certified teacher and also self proclaimed anatomy geek, Martin Kirk. The workshop covered what is known as the 5 Principal Alignments and Tantric philosophy. And it was an eye opener. From that point I became much more interested about myself, my surroundings and how I interact with everything or sometimes withdraw from everything. This weekend I will again study with Michael Siddall and it intends to be very fun!!!

My other reason for needing to blog today, was actually inspired by an Episode of Rachael Ray (the talk show not the cooking show). While flipping through channels I caught a glimpse of one of my personal hero's, Michael J. Fox. I love to hear Michael J Fox speak. The man has been through so much adversity with Parkinson's and even being thrust into the lime light at such an early age. And when you hear him talk he's so humbled by his experiences and blessed to be here and experience his life for what it is.

I saw him on The Hour with George Stromboulopolus and he was truly up lifting. He was talking about how getting Parkinson's was one of the best things that had ever happened to him. At first listen, when you hear someone say that getting a debilitating disease was the best thing that had ever happened to him, it makes you raise your eyebrows and open your mouth a little. He then went on to explain how the disease has forced him to slowdown. Physically, every move he makes has to be more planned, calculated and mindful. It's made him really step back and learn to appreciate everything that he has (family, friends the disability but also the ability). He said that if everyone were just to experience life from his perspective the world would be much more in touch with where it is and where it needs to be.

As Yogis, most of us strive to find something that was thrust upon Michael J Fox. We work hard to find the appreciation in all small things. We do our spiritual work so that we can look at a bird and appreciate the fact that, although I've seen thousands of birds, I've never seen this bird, in this moment. I try my best sometimes to slow down and be mindful. And then I'll think, "Well Michael J Fox's life depends on his ability to be mindful and present and mine doesn't." I then I realize that it does. It really does...

I like to think sometimes that I can inspire my students as much as my teachers and my hero's have inspired me. That I can use my own experience to help guide someone else on this journey. I do my best to learn from my mistakes, to be a positive person in times of adversity and share everything that I can. And to not judge myself in the times when I'm not any of those things.

To Adele Lynn Oliver, my family, friends, acquaintances and enemies (if there are any)....

Namaste...shanti...shanti...shanti

PS. Michael J Fox you are a true Yogi!!

Today I Tasted Truth.... mmmm...like honey~~

I find a lot through Yoga.... for those with a consistent practice.... we know there is an abundance to discover. We learn so much and explore so often... We come in contact with our elements... Our earth in grounding, our fire in commitment, our water in adaptation and our air with intuition. For those of us that teach... whether Yoga or pre-school... We begin to realize whether or not we subscribe to your own teachings. As a Yoga teachers we learn our Yamas and my Niyamas. And almost instantly we bring some of them into play... The first Yama (Yogic 5 Restraints), Ahmisa (non-violence), tends to take hold first. Many of us become Vegetarian, Vegan or Pescetarian. We find a little more care for our own bodies. We even find ourselves questioning our violent thoughts and feelings.

As Yogis we are always told about the truth... One of my favourite questions to ask my students is "Why are you here...? What brings you to your mat?? No matter what that reason... Just know it to be true." When we grow as meditators, we begin to get small glimpses of how our experience in practice becomes relevant in the world off of our Zafus. If we practice watching our breath or using Matra meditations, we start to notice how hard, but necessary, it is to cultivate concentration and awareness. If we practice Metta (loving kindness) meditations, we notice how much we can see others as fellow children of this Universe... and we realize when we're not!! We can not only treat others with more compassion but also ourselves. I used to be a very judgmental teenager.

Right now I am really exploring the 2nd Yama, Satya (truth). I personally have a hard time getting to the truth of my finances. Or you could say that I have an easy time running away from things that I'm scared of. I know there are times when I'm not sure how much money is in my bank account. And in these particular moments, I know that there could be money directly leaving my account for certain expenses (car insurance, car payment, OSAP...on and on and on)... but rather than going onto the internet and checking my account I will run!! I will stay away until I know that I have more money. Which then leads to me not know if there is an NSF on my record.

So today I'm surfin' the interweb just a few moments ago... I'm looking at really inspiring videos of Yogis doing Intermediate and Third Ashtanga series... being truly moved by the movements and grace of the practice... and then as I go to navigate away from the site I see the website for my bank. And deep inside my mind I know that I should look and see how my finances are doing. But as always my says... "If you check and there's an NSF you're going to be upset with yourself. And then you're going to stress and worry about your stability and survival .... just ignore it." (P.S. I have first chakra issues... that's Vata for ya..:)

And then I realized that's me running away again... So I stopped myself from my fear of knowing that my survival (in financial terms) is not so stable. and so I checked my bank account. With the intention that no matter what was on that page it would be exactly as it's supposed to be. I was going in with no expectations either way. wwwhhhheeewww~~~
Turns out that all my payments have come out and I'm doing ok.... Not saying that I'm a rich man but we might be getting take out!!!!:)

Truth is a tricky situation. There has to be a willingness to look at what ever circumstance we might be facing and look at it as a witness and remain detached. The truth is scary most of the times. There might be aspects of our lives that we dodn't look at because we're afraid of the truth we've been denying. But in all truth...(ha)... Unless you live truthfully this life is empty. Unless we can look at ourselves with an objective eye we're just acting.

It is said that in all the fables about Buddha in his past lives, whether as a mountain goat, or a rabbit, Buddha did things that were not virtuos (as we all do). But the one thing that Buddha would not do is lie about it. He spoke the truth about what was so. that one virtue among all others. And truth can be the most powerful. when we live in truth we see things as they are... Life is wonderous and magical and scary and difficult.

And to quote the Buddha on truth...
"It's the quality of seeing what is true and responding with mercy, to rest in the truthful heart with compassion as well,'

Namaste...shanti...shanti...shanti and merry christmas, happy Hanukkah, etc. etc.

I Am Blue Sky!!

A poem inspired by this day!!


















I Am Blue Sky
by Steven Ferrell

When I sit and I cross
in this moment I am pure potential
In this breath and this bead
I wear my crown

And now with eyes open
I am blue sky
You and I, the same endless colour

We drop into ocean
and become wave...
We evaporate to sky
and become cloud

Have you heard a bird
singing through your voice?
Or felt a horse running with your legs?

In one smile...
The history, present and to come
Don't be afraid to feel your way
through lives.

Look up at your face
And bow down to your feet.
And when clouds pass...
blue sky

All in Due Time

There are times in these lives, that sometimes seemingly just float by, that we get hit with something. Flying through the air so inconspicuously when it slams you right in the heart!

As an instructor, I and many call these the "Ah-ha..." moments... When for a time... you find yourself no longer try or do but being. Where words can't even begin to explain. This point that time and space collide and everything is happening not to you but through you. And this could happen on your mat in a beautiful Asana or seated on a Zafu in the sun. Or walking along the lane that runs behind the house where you grew up.

I have had few, though big, moments like this in my life... I'm not really sure if I had many as a child, but here are a few that I do recollect. One of the first was when I was dating this girl Sam. So, I was supposed to go over to her house to hang out or go somewhere. I told her on the phone that I'd be there in 20 minutes. As I hung up the phone I saw my drum set sitting in the corner of my bedroom. There was a certain rhythm that I was working on in my head... and I knew that if I didn't play it that I'd more than likely forget it all together. So I sat down behind my kit and slowly started to pound it out... It was mesmerizing to me. I ended up getting lost behind my drum set (or found) for an hour. And when I finally awoke from my meditation that I had some explaining to do. It was one of my most amazing performances...

Another such time that I will share was in Yoga Teacher Training (and I might have already Blogged about this in a past entry but alas I don't really go back to re read). All together, Yoga Teacher Training was absolute amazement!! I learned so much and had so many great experiences with my class and out in life!! One such "ah-ha" moment came while we were working on instructing someone into Ardha Chandrasana. We were all practicing... my partner Kelly was guiding my into the pose and Heather (Our Teacher) saw me struggling. she walked over, put her hand on my hip and said "You're working too hard." Which I'm blaming as my reason for falling out of the Asana;) I told her that I didn't understand. And she that I was "wasting too much energy trying to be what the pose is supposed to look like when you should just try to Be in the pose."

She slowly guided me down into a low lunge position and leaning forward. She put her hand on my back and told me to close my eyes and breath. She began to guide my breath slower and smoother. She said "Come into the pose whenever you're ready. And know that I'm here and I won't let you fall." After a few more deep calming breath and I began to lift my way up. Feeling Heather supporting my movements. As I grew fuller into the pose I felt as though my leg and fingers had no limit to their reach. I felt as light as a feather but steady like a rock. I was up there for a good 8-10 breathes when Heather told me I could come down out of Ardha Chandrasana. When I stood up I couldn't even come close expressing how good the pose felt. I was already elated by the experience when all the girls told me that after Heather brought me into the pose and stabilized me she had already stepped back and I was flying solo pretty much that whole time..... F-in Crazy!! I broke down at the realization I had. That moment will forever be with me.... thank you Heather!!

And then today happened.... or is happening~~~ First thing, earlier in the day, after Adele had left for work, I was watching TV and then I just thought about Adele, as I often do, and just had to see her picture. I looked around the room rampantly to see one and when a picture of the the two of us caught my eye, thoughts of that picture, and where we were and the fun we were having just came flooding into my brain and my heart that I couldn't control the laughter. I started just cracking up thinking about how much fun I have with Adele and how greatful I am that she's a character in this story.

Second thing, I was leafing through emails and was deleting when I thought I would take a look at one of my newer Yoga Journal emails. To my surprise there was another free video taken from the Anusara Grand Gathering DVD on Arm Balancing. HOORAY!! For the record, I am slowly getting interested in Anusara Yoga. But loving what I've seen!! So I'm watching this little 5 inch by 8 inch screen. John Friend talking about the concepts of Anusara, "Be empty like the sky. But in that emptiness there's even more fullness." So many amazing words and philosophies flying out of his heart. It really began to touch me... All of his words, how he expresses his true love for Yoga... His enjoyment of life and of the practice, and how the two are never separate. Yoga made me cry again... a happy and enthralled cry!!

I've found that the more receptive I stay to love the easier it moves into and threw me. I find myself smiling all the time (thanks to Tich Nat Hahn) and expressing myself more (thanks to Jack Kornfield). These people teaching me not to learn more about opening my heart to the world but just how to let go of the knowledge that already exists in my soul. Finding that thing that's already there. I'd also like to express my gratitude once again to Deepak Chopra for his wise words and 7 Spiritual Laws meditation. And to John Friend for not only his amazing physical alignments but also for his spiritual alignments. I think I'm intrigued by Anusara. Thank you to all my students who make it a pleasure to teach from my experience.

And last, Thank you to Adele Lynn Oliver who is there to listen to me ramble on and on about Yoga.

Namaste...shanti...shanti...shanti

oh what to blog about!!

So here I am again after a month or so of not writing anything... much like my relationship with my Neti Pot (I only do it when I remember). But in all seriousness, I often get struck with the inspiration to blog when I'm no where near a computer and so it gets left undone. But every once in a while when inspiration hits me and I'm near to the laptop and I have a piece of time that I can allow for such things, blogging happens.... like right now!!

So I sit here with so many things inspiring me that I can't choose which to write about.?.?.? So I'll blog about what is happening in my mind right now, in my city right now and in the world right now.

This path of a Yogi is definitely not an easy path. To the outsider it may seem as though I live a life of peace and happiness and tranquility, and that is not completely untrue. But as I said, this path is uneasy. So many times in life I hear people say, "Oh I wish I could do Yoga but my body isn't that flexible." or " I would love to be able to meditate but I can't shut my mind off." or as a personal trainer "I wish I could look like that but I don't have the motivation to work that hard." And so hear I sit racking my brain as to what is wrong with people?!?!? And I know, somewhere inside, that it is not my place to judge or look at the world or it's inhabitants as being wrong because.... any situation where we give labels of right and wrong is judgement.

And so sometimes, as we Yogis do, I get frustrated. Frustrated at the fact that we live in this world drowning in consumerism. This world where we value more the things that we want rather than the things that we really need. This world where, more times than not, when you smile at someone you won't get a smile in return. This world where, the youth are being mentored by the people they see in music videos and in reality TV shows. This land where we've become so lazy that we now can buy premade (highly processed) muffin mix in a tin.

It is very difficult to, as Yogis say, see myself in everyone that passes by me. It is even more difficult for me to try and understand how people can, day by day, see their loved ones dying from disease and not take the steps to lead a healthier lifestyle. It's hard to see my father watch his brother die of Lung Cancer and continue to smoke a pack of cigarettes a day. Or to see a young, pregnant woman not cherishing the unborn child she has inside of her by smoking and drinking. But... and there is a but... it is not my place to judge.

Jack Kornfield tells a story of a group of Tibetan Forest Monks that follow their master Ajahn Chah to England. The master sends these monks out into the streets for Oms rounds (they basically go out and beg for food and can never say thank you in return). One of the monks asks his master, "Why would we go out in this place? They give us almost no food, people think it's strange." Ajahn Chah replied, "You do this because it is your practice. You must go out because you are a messanger. It's possible, you don't know it, but it's possible that someone walking down the street could see you and that person could be the next Buddha. So you go out not just for yourself but also for others, so that you can tell them that there is another way."

This story really rings true. Buddhist Monks while meditating will end their meditations silently saying to themselves, "May my meditations not only benefit myself but also benefit those around me." I remember doing this when I went to a Buddhist temple here in Hamilton. And so I walk away from this blog a little more enlightened than frustrated. I do this practice and follow this path not only for myslef but so that what I do can benefit others. To let them know that, "There is another way."

Namaste...shanti...shanti...shanti

To Sangha

This one is for friends, for family, for supporters but also for sceptics, for those who don't believe in connection. Or for those who don't believe that you can find solace and support in people of like mind and value.

I feel absolutely blessed to be where I am in my life right now. I am slowly but surely making my way into teaching Yoga full time (which if you ask Adele isn't such a great idea because she'll lose her personal trainer... no worries sweety... I'll make you do walking lunges til death due us part!!). I'm teaching more classes, doing workshops and teaching some privates here and there. I feel as though I'm inspiring my students and in turn they inspire me. I'm teaching at 3 really great studios in the Hamilton area. But one of the most amazing things about being a Yogi is the community that exists for us. Especially De La Sol, where I teach the bulk of my classes. It's an amazing studio. We're all relatively young teachers there, with varying levels of experience. But it's such a sharing and giving environment. Every teacher has a wealth of knowledge that they're willing to pass on at the drop of a hat. We're a very open community of teachers.

This past Sunday De La Sol held a grand re-opening party for their new studio. The community was invited to join us for free food, wine and entertainment. The turn out was phenomenal. The energy and conversation flowed as freely as the local wines and for me, the pomegranate iced tea.

It was really an amazing group of people. I got to talk to teachers and more importantly students (which you sometimes don't get a chance to do). We shared stories, laughs and hugs!! My friend Natalie and I got to perform a demonstration of our Partner Yoga practice. A routine which we diligently and meticulously choreographed. Katie's sister, Melissa McClelland (Canadian Singer/Song Writer) performed some of her songs. All in all, a fulfilling night.

Basically what I'm trying to say is that it's awesome that there's a place where we can go and practice Yoga and teach Yoga and just be Yoga. And while doing all these Yogic type things there is a community of like minded people right there with you. People that you can share experience with. People that you can learn from and people that want to learn from you. I can go to De La Sol even when I'm not teaching or taking class and just hang out in the lounge and read a book. Or even sign out a book from their Yoga library.

For anyone who might read this. There are places in your community where this happens. If you're not part of a Sangha (community), try going to your local Yoga studio. Yogis tend to be very welcoming people.

We're all in this together... All beings everywhere just want to be happy!!

Here is a quote that I heard today from my friend Andre...

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” -Rumi

Namaste...shanti...shanti...shanti

Inspiration Station!!

So in class sometimes I'll relay the concept of non-attachment by saying that, "What may be here today might not be here tomorrow." Especially when it comes to, the sometimes elusive, heels touching the ground in Downward Facing Dog. So with this sense of non-attachment we can cultivate a even more powerful sense of contentment. Things are the way they are... and that is the real truth. That whole concept holds no truer than right now.

I spent a while today writ ting a blog. And in my mind it was a really great blog... and I felt it was an amazing representation of how I was feeling at the time... which was extremely inspired. It had fantastic literary content... everything that a budding young blogger would be proud of!! Unfortunately I wasn't able to finish the blog before I had to go teach. So as I sat down about 5 minutes ago and proceeded to load up my account, I was excited to finish the revelation that had the potential to save the world. And I soon realized that my entry didn't save.... DIDN'T SAVE!!

And I'm not saying that this experience is unique (although at the heart of it...every experience in unique). Everyday there is "work" done by somebody somewhere. And Everyday certain circumstances happen to eradicate said "work". And when I realized that my blog entry wasn't there, and that my ideas were lost and my words were lost, my natural reaction would have been one of anger, disappointment and fear. But as I felt some of those natural, habitual reactions coming to the surface something was different this time. I let it go!! I just let it go!! Impermanence!! Wow...!! I hear Jack Kornfield and others talking about it all the time. The fact that nothing around us is permanent. Even the things (ourselves) that grasp at these impermanence's are impermanent... I heard that somewhere.

And as easy as it could have been to try and re-write my elusive blog, it wouldn't be coming from the same inspiration that I first felt. It would be more of me trying to remember a string of thoughts, that at the time were representative of what I was thinking. It would be me grasping at impermanence. And just as I learned something this morning that I wanted to share, I just now had a personal milestone... and a grand revelation... hopefully, that revelation will be here tomorrow... and if not... for a time that revelation graced my presence.

But I will say that my blog was basically saying that my friend Natalie is becoming a fantastic Yoga teacher. She teaches inspiring classes... and this morning she inspired me and made me realize some major things. Today has been a busy day for me!!

This has been a PSA brought to you by the powers of Yoga.

Namaste...shanti...shanti...shanti