Sunday, September 27, 2009
A poem inspired by this day!!
I Am Blue Sky
by Steven Ferrell
When I sit and I cross
in this moment I am pure potential
In this breath and this bead
I wear my crown
And now with eyes open
I am blue sky
You and I, the same endless colour
We drop into ocean
and become wave...
We evaporate to sky
and become cloud
Have you heard a bird
singing through your voice?
Or felt a horse running with your legs?
In one smile...
The history, present and to come
Don't be afraid to feel your way
Look up at your face
And bow down to your feet.
And when clouds pass...
Sunday, September 13, 2009
There are times in these lives, that sometimes seemingly just float by, that we get hit with something. Flying through the air so inconspicuously when it slams you right in the heart!
As an instructor, I and many call these the "Ah-ha..." moments... When for a time... you find yourself no longer try or do but being. Where words can't even begin to explain. This point that time and space collide and everything is happening not to you but through you. And this could happen on your mat in a beautiful Asana or seated on a Zafu in the sun. Or walking along the lane that runs behind the house where you grew up.
I have had few, though big, moments like this in my life... I'm not really sure if I had many as a child, but here are a few that I do recollect. One of the first was when I was dating this girl Sam. So, I was supposed to go over to her house to hang out or go somewhere. I told her on the phone that I'd be there in 20 minutes. As I hung up the phone I saw my drum set sitting in the corner of my bedroom. There was a certain rhythm that I was working on in my head... and I knew that if I didn't play it that I'd more than likely forget it all together. So I sat down behind my kit and slowly started to pound it out... It was mesmerizing to me. I ended up getting lost behind my drum set (or found) for an hour. And when I finally awoke from my meditation that I had some explaining to do. It was one of my most amazing performances...
Another such time that I will share was in Yoga Teacher Training (and I might have already Blogged about this in a past entry but alas I don't really go back to re read). All together, Yoga Teacher Training was absolute amazement!! I learned so much and had so many great experiences with my class and out in life!! One such "ah-ha" moment came while we were working on instructing someone into Ardha Chandrasana. We were all practicing... my partner Kelly was guiding my into the pose and Heather (Our Teacher) saw me struggling. she walked over, put her hand on my hip and said "You're working too hard." Which I'm blaming as my reason for falling out of the Asana;) I told her that I didn't understand. And she that I was "wasting too much energy trying to be what the pose is supposed to look like when you should just try to Be in the pose."
She slowly guided me down into a low lunge position and leaning forward. She put her hand on my back and told me to close my eyes and breath. She began to guide my breath slower and smoother. She said "Come into the pose whenever you're ready. And know that I'm here and I won't let you fall." After a few more deep calming breath and I began to lift my way up. Feeling Heather supporting my movements. As I grew fuller into the pose I felt as though my leg and fingers had no limit to their reach. I felt as light as a feather but steady like a rock. I was up there for a good 8-10 breathes when Heather told me I could come down out of Ardha Chandrasana. When I stood up I couldn't even come close expressing how good the pose felt. I was already elated by the experience when all the girls told me that after Heather brought me into the pose and stabilized me she had already stepped back and I was flying solo pretty much that whole time..... F-in Crazy!! I broke down at the realization I had. That moment will forever be with me.... thank you Heather!!
And then today happened.... or is happening~~~ First thing, earlier in the day, after Adele had left for work, I was watching TV and then I just thought about Adele, as I often do, and just had to see her picture. I looked around the room rampantly to see one and when a picture of the the two of us caught my eye, thoughts of that picture, and where we were and the fun we were having just came flooding into my brain and my heart that I couldn't control the laughter. I started just cracking up thinking about how much fun I have with Adele and how greatful I am that she's a character in this story.
Second thing, I was leafing through emails and was deleting when I thought I would take a look at one of my newer Yoga Journal emails. To my surprise there was another free video taken from the Anusara Grand Gathering DVD on Arm Balancing. HOORAY!! For the record, I am slowly getting interested in Anusara Yoga. But loving what I've seen!! So I'm watching this little 5 inch by 8 inch screen. John Friend talking about the concepts of Anusara, "Be empty like the sky. But in that emptiness there's even more fullness." So many amazing words and philosophies flying out of his heart. It really began to touch me... All of his words, how he expresses his true love for Yoga... His enjoyment of life and of the practice, and how the two are never separate. Yoga made me cry again... a happy and enthralled cry!!
I've found that the more receptive I stay to love the easier it moves into and threw me. I find myself smiling all the time (thanks to Tich Nat Hahn) and expressing myself more (thanks to Jack Kornfield). These people teaching me not to learn more about opening my heart to the world but just how to let go of the knowledge that already exists in my soul. Finding that thing that's already there. I'd also like to express my gratitude once again to Deepak Chopra for his wise words and 7 Spiritual Laws meditation. And to John Friend for not only his amazing physical alignments but also for his spiritual alignments. I think I'm intrigued by Anusara. Thank you to all my students who make it a pleasure to teach from my experience.
And last, Thank you to Adele Lynn Oliver who is there to listen to me ramble on and on about Yoga.