Saturday, December 12, 2009

Today I Tasted Truth.... honey~~

I find a lot through Yoga.... for those with a consistent practice.... we know there is an abundance to discover. We learn so much and explore so often... We come in contact with our elements... Our earth in grounding, our fire in commitment, our water in adaptation and our air with intuition. For those of us that teach... whether Yoga or pre-school... We begin to realize whether or not we subscribe to your own teachings. As a Yoga teachers we learn our Yamas and my Niyamas. And almost instantly we bring some of them into play... The first Yama (Yogic 5 Restraints), Ahmisa (non-violence), tends to take hold first. Many of us become Vegetarian, Vegan or Pescetarian. We find a little more care for our own bodies. We even find ourselves questioning our violent thoughts and feelings.

As Yogis we are always told about the truth... One of my favourite questions to ask my students is "Why are you here...? What brings you to your mat?? No matter what that reason... Just know it to be true." When we grow as meditators, we begin to get small glimpses of how our experience in practice becomes relevant in the world off of our Zafus. If we practice watching our breath or using Matra meditations, we start to notice how hard, but necessary, it is to cultivate concentration and awareness. If we practice Metta (loving kindness) meditations, we notice how much we can see others as fellow children of this Universe... and we realize when we're not!! We can not only treat others with more compassion but also ourselves. I used to be a very judgmental teenager.

Right now I am really exploring the 2nd Yama, Satya (truth). I personally have a hard time getting to the truth of my finances. Or you could say that I have an easy time running away from things that I'm scared of. I know there are times when I'm not sure how much money is in my bank account. And in these particular moments, I know that there could be money directly leaving my account for certain expenses (car insurance, car payment, OSAP...on and on and on)... but rather than going onto the internet and checking my account I will run!! I will stay away until I know that I have more money. Which then leads to me not know if there is an NSF on my record.

So today I'm surfin' the interweb just a few moments ago... I'm looking at really inspiring videos of Yogis doing Intermediate and Third Ashtanga series... being truly moved by the movements and grace of the practice... and then as I go to navigate away from the site I see the website for my bank. And deep inside my mind I know that I should look and see how my finances are doing. But as always my says... "If you check and there's an NSF you're going to be upset with yourself. And then you're going to stress and worry about your stability and survival .... just ignore it." (P.S. I have first chakra issues... that's Vata for ya..:)

And then I realized that's me running away again... So I stopped myself from my fear of knowing that my survival (in financial terms) is not so stable. and so I checked my bank account. With the intention that no matter what was on that page it would be exactly as it's supposed to be. I was going in with no expectations either way. wwwhhhheeewww~~~
Turns out that all my payments have come out and I'm doing ok.... Not saying that I'm a rich man but we might be getting take out!!!!:)

Truth is a tricky situation. There has to be a willingness to look at what ever circumstance we might be facing and look at it as a witness and remain detached. The truth is scary most of the times. There might be aspects of our lives that we dodn't look at because we're afraid of the truth we've been denying. But in all truth...(ha)... Unless you live truthfully this life is empty. Unless we can look at ourselves with an objective eye we're just acting.

It is said that in all the fables about Buddha in his past lives, whether as a mountain goat, or a rabbit, Buddha did things that were not virtuos (as we all do). But the one thing that Buddha would not do is lie about it. He spoke the truth about what was so. that one virtue among all others. And truth can be the most powerful. when we live in truth we see things as they are... Life is wonderous and magical and scary and difficult.

And to quote the Buddha on truth...
"It's the quality of seeing what is true and responding with mercy, to rest in the truthful heart with compassion as well,'

Namaste...shanti...shanti...shanti and merry christmas, happy Hanukkah, etc. etc.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

I Am Blue Sky!!

A poem inspired by this day!!

I Am Blue Sky

by Steven Ferrell

When I sit and I cross
in this moment I am pure potential
In this breath and this bead
I wear my crown

And now with eyes open
I am blue sky
You and I, the same endless colour

We drop into ocean
and become wave...
We evaporate to sky
and become cloud

Have you heard a bird
singing through your voice?
Or felt a horse running with your legs?

In one smile...
The history, present and to come
Don't be afraid to feel your way
through lives.

Look up at your face
And bow down to your feet.
And when clouds pass...
blue sky

Sunday, September 13, 2009

All in Due Time

There are times in these lives, that sometimes seemingly just float by, that we get hit with something. Flying through the air so inconspicuously when it slams you right in the heart!

As an instructor, I and many call these the "Ah-ha..." moments... When for a time... you find yourself no longer try or do but being. Where words can't even begin to explain. This point that time and space collide and everything is happening not to you but through you. And this could happen on your mat in a beautiful Asana or seated on a Zafu in the sun. Or walking along the lane that runs behind the house where you grew up.

I have had few, though big, moments like this in my life... I'm not really sure if I had many as a child, but here are a few that I do recollect. One of the first was when I was dating this girl Sam. So, I was supposed to go over to her house to hang out or go somewhere. I told her on the phone that I'd be there in 20 minutes. As I hung up the phone I saw my drum set sitting in the corner of my bedroom. There was a certain rhythm that I was working on in my head... and I knew that if I didn't play it that I'd more than likely forget it all together. So I sat down behind my kit and slowly started to pound it out... It was mesmerizing to me. I ended up getting lost behind my drum set (or found) for an hour. And when I finally awoke from my meditation that I had some explaining to do. It was one of my most amazing performances...

Another such time that I will share was in Yoga Teacher Training (and I might have already Blogged about this in a past entry but alas I don't really go back to re read). All together, Yoga Teacher Training was absolute amazement!! I learned so much and had so many great experiences with my class and out in life!! One such "ah-ha" moment came while we were working on instructing someone into Ardha Chandrasana. We were all practicing... my partner Kelly was guiding my into the pose and Heather (Our Teacher) saw me struggling. she walked over, put her hand on my hip and said "You're working too hard." Which I'm blaming as my reason for falling out of the Asana;) I told her that I didn't understand. And she that I was "wasting too much energy trying to be what the pose is supposed to look like when you should just try to Be in the pose."

She slowly guided me down into a low lunge position and leaning forward. She put her hand on my back and told me to close my eyes and breath. She began to guide my breath slower and smoother. She said "Come into the pose whenever you're ready. And know that I'm here and I won't let you fall." After a few more deep calming breath and I began to lift my way up. Feeling Heather supporting my movements. As I grew fuller into the pose I felt as though my leg and fingers had no limit to their reach. I felt as light as a feather but steady like a rock. I was up there for a good 8-10 breathes when Heather told me I could come down out of Ardha Chandrasana. When I stood up I couldn't even come close expressing how good the pose felt. I was already elated by the experience when all the girls told me that after Heather brought me into the pose and stabilized me she had already stepped back and I was flying solo pretty much that whole time..... F-in Crazy!! I broke down at the realization I had. That moment will forever be with me.... thank you Heather!!

And then today happened.... or is happening~~~ First thing, earlier in the day, after Adele had left for work, I was watching TV and then I just thought about Adele, as I often do, and just had to see her picture. I looked around the room rampantly to see one and when a picture of the the two of us caught my eye, thoughts of that picture, and where we were and the fun we were having just came flooding into my brain and my heart that I couldn't control the laughter. I started just cracking up thinking about how much fun I have with Adele and how greatful I am that she's a character in this story.

Second thing, I was leafing through emails and was deleting when I thought I would take a look at one of my newer Yoga Journal emails. To my surprise there was another free video taken from the Anusara Grand Gathering DVD on Arm Balancing. HOORAY!! For the record, I am slowly getting interested in Anusara Yoga. But loving what I've seen!! So I'm watching this little 5 inch by 8 inch screen. John Friend talking about the concepts of Anusara, "Be empty like the sky. But in that emptiness there's even more fullness." So many amazing words and philosophies flying out of his heart. It really began to touch me... All of his words, how he expresses his true love for Yoga... His enjoyment of life and of the practice, and how the two are never separate. Yoga made me cry again... a happy and enthralled cry!!

I've found that the more receptive I stay to love the easier it moves into and threw me. I find myself smiling all the time (thanks to Tich Nat Hahn) and expressing myself more (thanks to Jack Kornfield). These people teaching me not to learn more about opening my heart to the world but just how to let go of the knowledge that already exists in my soul. Finding that thing that's already there. I'd also like to express my gratitude once again to Deepak Chopra for his wise words and 7 Spiritual Laws meditation. And to John Friend for not only his amazing physical alignments but also for his spiritual alignments. I think I'm intrigued by Anusara. Thank you to all my students who make it a pleasure to teach from my experience.

And last, Thank you to Adele Lynn Oliver who is there to listen to me ramble on and on about Yoga.


Saturday, August 15, 2009

oh what to blog about!!

So here I am again after a month or so of not writing anything... much like my relationship with my Neti Pot (I only do it when I remember). But in all seriousness, I often get struck with the inspiration to blog when I'm no where near a computer and so it gets left undone. But every once in a while when inspiration hits me and I'm near to the laptop and I have a piece of time that I can allow for such things, blogging happens.... like right now!!

So I sit here with so many things inspiring me that I can't choose which to write about.?.?.?
So I'll blog about what is happening in my mind right now, in my city right now and in the world right now.

This path of a Yogi is definitely not an easy path. To the outsider it may seem as though I live a life of peace and happiness and tranquility, and that is not completely untrue. But as I said, this path is uneasy. So many times in life I hear people say, "Oh I wish I could do Yoga but my body isn't that flexible." or " I would love to be able to meditate but I can't shut my mind off." or as a personal trainer "I wish I could look like that but I don't have the motivation to work that hard." And so hear I sit racking my brain as to what is wrong with people?!?!? And I know, somewhere inside, that it is not my place to judge or look at the world or it's inhabitants as being wrong because.... any situation where we give labels of right and wrong is judgement.

And so sometimes, as we Yogis do, I get frustrated. Frustrated at the fact that we live in this world drowning in consumerism. This world where we value more the things that we want rather than the things that we really need. This world where, more times than not, when you smile at someone you won't get a smile in return. This world where, the youth are being mentored by the people they see in music videos and in reality TV shows. This land where we've become so lazy that we now can buy premade (highly processed) muffin mix in a tin.

It is very difficult to, as Yogis say, see myself in everyone that passes by me. It is even more difficult for me to try and understand how people can, day by day, see their loved ones dying from disease and not take the steps to lead a healthier lifestyle. It's hard to see my father watch his brother die of Lung Cancer and continue to smoke a pack of cigarettes a day. Or to see a young, pregnant woman not cherishing the unborn child she has inside of her by smoking and drinking.
But... and there is a but... it is not my place to judge.

Jack Kornfield tells a story of a group of Tibetan Forest Monks that follow their master Ajahn Chah to England. The master sends these monks out into the streets for Oms rounds (they basically go out and beg for food and can never say thank you in return). One of the monks asks his master, "Why would we go out in this place? They give us almost no food, people think it's strange." Ajahn Chah replied, "You do this because it is your practice. You must go out because you are a messanger. It's possible, you don't know it, but it's possible that someone walking down the street could see you and that person could be the next Buddha. So you go out not just for yourself but also for others, so that you can tell them that there is another way."

This story really rings true. Buddhist Monks while meditating will end their meditations silently saying to themselves, "May my meditations not only benefit myself but also benefit those around me." I remember doing this when I went to a Buddhist temple here in Hamilton. And so I walk away from this blog a little more enlightened than frustrated. I do this practice and follow this path not only for myslef but so that what I do can benefit others. To let them know that, "There is another way."


Tuesday, June 30, 2009

To Sangha

This one is for friends, for family, for supporters but also for sceptics, for those who don't believe in connection. Or for those who don't believe that you can find solace and support in people of like mind and value.

I feel absolutely blessed to be where I am in my life right now. I am slowly but surely making my way into teaching Yoga full time (which if you ask Adele isn't such a great idea because she'll lose her personal trainer... no worries sweety... I'll make you do walking lunges til death due us part!!). I'm teaching more classes, doing workshops and teaching some privates here and there. I feel as though I'm inspiring my students and in turn they inspire me. I'm teaching at 3 really great studios in the Hamilton area. But one of the most amazing things about being a Yogi is the community that exists for us. Especially De La Sol, where I teach the bulk of my classes. It's an amazing studio. We're all relatively young teachers there, with varying levels of experience. But it's such a sharing and giving environment. Every teacher has a wealth of knowledge that they're willing to pass on at the drop of a hat. We're a very open community of teachers.

This past Sunday De La Sol held a grand re-opening party for their new studio. The community was invited to join us for free food, wine and entertainment. The turn out was phenomenal. The energy and conversation flowed as freely as the local wines and for me, the pomegranate iced tea.

It was really an amazing group of people. I got to talk to teachers and more importantly students (which you sometimes don't get a chance to do). We shared stories, laughs and hugs!! My friend Natalie and I got to perform a demonstration of our Partner Yoga practice. A routine which we diligently and meticulously choreographed. Katie's sister, Melissa McClelland (Canadian Singer/Song Writer) performed some of her songs. All in all, a fulfilling night.

Basically what I'm trying to say is that it's awesome that there's a place where we can go and practice Yoga and teach Yoga and just be Yoga. And while doing all these Yogic type things there is a community of like minded people right there with you. People that you can share experience with. People that you can learn from and people that want to learn from you. I can go to De La Sol even when I'm not teaching or taking class and just hang out in the lounge and read a book. Or even sign out a book from their Yoga library.

For anyone who might read this. There are places in your community where this happens. If you're not part of a Sangha (community), try going to your local Yoga studio. Yogis tend to be very welcoming people.

We're all in this together... All beings everywhere just want to be happy!!

Here is a quote that I heard today from my friend Andre...

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” -Rumi


Monday, June 15, 2009

Inspiration Station!!

So in class sometimes I'll relay the concept of non-attachment by saying that, "What may be here today might not be here tomorrow." Especially when it comes to, the sometimes elusive, heels touching the ground in Downward Facing Dog. So with this sense of non-attachment we can cultivate a even more powerful sense of contentment. Things are the way they are... and that is the real truth. That whole concept holds no truer than right now.

I spent a while today writ ting a blog. And in my mind it was a really great blog... and I felt it was an amazing representation of how I was feeling at the time... which was extremely inspired. It had fantastic literary content... everything that a budding young blogger would be proud of!! Unfortunately I wasn't able to finish the blog before I had to go teach. So as I sat down about 5 minutes ago and proceeded to load up my account, I was excited to finish the revelation that had the potential to save the world. And I soon realized that my entry didn't save.... DIDN'T SAVE!!

And I'm not saying that this experience is unique (although at the heart of it...every experience in unique). Everyday there is "work" done by somebody somewhere. And Everyday certain circumstances happen to eradicate said "work". And when I realized that my blog entry wasn't there, and that my ideas were lost and my words were lost, my natural reaction would have been one of anger, disappointment and fear. But as I felt some of those natural, habitual reactions coming to the surface something was different this time. I let it go!! I just let it go!! Impermanence!! Wow...!! I hear Jack Kornfield and others talking about it all the time. The fact that nothing around us is permanent. Even the things (ourselves) that grasp at these impermanence's are impermanent... I heard that somewhere.

And as easy as it could have been to try and re-write my elusive blog, it wouldn't be coming from the same inspiration that I first felt. It would be more of me trying to remember a string of thoughts, that at the time were representative of what I was thinking. It would be me grasping at impermanence. And just as I learned something this morning that I wanted to share, I just now had a personal milestone... and a grand revelation... hopefully, that revelation will be here tomorrow... and if not... for a time that revelation graced my presence.

But I will say that my blog was basically saying that my friend Natalie is becoming a fantastic Yoga teacher. She teaches inspiring classes... and this morning she inspired me and made me realize some major things. Today has been a busy day for me!!

This has been a PSA brought to you by the powers of Yoga.


Saturday, April 11, 2009

Back again!!

Greetings to all!!! It's definitely been a while since my last blog entry!! But So many amazing things have happened:D For a while life was pretty complicated.... I was getting to be very unhappy and unsettled at my job. My boss is a little bit of a spazz!! For those of you who are familiar with the Ayurvedic sciences, he is an extremely out of balance Vata. He can't hold a conversation for more than 2 minutes without being completely distracted by the thoughts in his head. And it's funny because he knows that he needs Yoga more than anyone and always pokes fun at me and my students for doing Yoga... He tries to be a real "Mans Man" and play off that weight lifting is what guys should be doing and Yoga should be left for the females. And he wouldn't dare be caught meditating or chanting because he has this unrealistic image to uphold. Anyway it was getting to the point where I couldn't bare to work for him. We have so many conflicting views on fitness, diet and even health in general. I don't agree with the way he runs his business (from a pure money grubbing, greedy stand point) or the way he treats his clientel (once the money's in... who are you?). Don't get me wrong... Inside he has a really great heart, but his damn head keeps getting in the way!!

Anyway, I left that job... it was a well needed change. I was crazy nervous before I gave my 2 weeks notice. Mainly because I didn't really know how my boss would react. It was either going to be fine or I was going to end up with a black eye and a broken nose. I used my 7 Spiritual Laws meditations to keep me centered and on the right path while this whole situation unravelled. Om Ritam Namah... My intentions and desires are supported by the universe... that was a big help!! It gets confusing sometimes when life is changing... I think most of us second guess ourselves when really big decisions need to be made... I just made my intention to leave clear, gave my notice and let the Universe take care of the rest. It went OK!! He was sad to see me go but knew that I was following my dream of teaching Yoga full time. So that is that... for those of you that know me, you know that there's more to that story but I'll spare the drama to anyone else.

As well, Adele and I were having problems with our living situation. A couple had moved in to one of the ajacent apartments. At first they seemed like really nice people but as time went on we discovered that they were not what we thought. I got bad vibes from the girl right away. I'm pretty good with energy and she was oozing with bad energy!! She could really get under skin and as bad as it is to say, I sometimes allowed her to bring the worst out in me!! I've always had a hard time with non-judgement. Because I spent a little chunk of my life being judged and ridiculed I had a tendency to relay that into even more judgement... a brutal cycle. I concentrate really hard sometimes trying to control it. Anyway, As the months went by Adele and I started to get really annoyed with them. They would come by without calling or texting first and would actually look in our living room window to see if we were home. Just no privacy and a little.. CREEPY!! It started to get to the point where we were trying to avoid them all together. If they would knock on our door we wouldn't answer. Some nights we would just sit in silence, with the TV on Mute, if we heard them walking up to our door. This was not a really healthy way to live and me being the King of Non-Confrontation we didn't tell them to just leave us alone. So Adele and I found a new apartment. It's a great new place with more room, free cable (free Comedy Network!!) and free internet.... oh and free parking and laundry!! Crisis Averted!!

So life has been crazy!! During the move our computer crashed, which is why I have been MIA from the blogging community... Adele and I are now engaged... since March 8th (which just happened to be the 3 year anniversary of our first date). I am awesomely excited about that!! I am still doing some personal training but am slowly making my way into teaching Yoga full time. I'm teaching @ 3 different studios and it's going great!! I'm getting myself a website so that everyone can find where I'm teaching and training. I'm also considering taking an Ayurvedic Physicians program in Toronto. Sometimes it really amazes me how much Yoga has changed and enriched my life.

For those interested, I am teaching Monday nights 5:45-6:45 @ MBC studios,
Thursday nights 7:30-9 @ Shanti Yoga, and Saturday morning 10:15-11:45 and 1-2:30 @ De La Sol Yoga (I teach Hot Flow there)
Starting on July 6th I'll also be teaching an 8 week Ashtanga intro at St. Cuthbert's Church in Westdale from 7-8:30.

To all of you... it's good to be back!!

I leave you with a quote that really is hitting me lately...

"Never doubt that a small group of committed people can change the world!
Indeed it is the only thing that ever has." - I think this is Margaret Mead?!?


Saturday, March 21, 2009

The Value of a Good Cartoon!!

Remember back in the day (what ever day that may be) when you would watch a show that just had a good message or moral behind the story. Like Fat Albert for instance. Bill Cosby would always have his little segment where he would share with the viewer some sort of valuable message, like don't judge a book by its cover or eat jell-o pudding pops. Or at the end of the Care Bears when they would have the Care A Lot skit.....oh.... like that one where those two kids are fighting over the lime green Popsicle and then it breaks and melts on the floor..... no one got the Popsicle!!! Then Cheer Bear would show up with another Lime Green Popsicle and break it in half and disperse the parts equally.... and everyone was happy!!!! And these are the messages that are missing in alot of today's programming.

So recently I've been watching the anime sensation Avatar: The Last Air Bender. For those of you that don't know, The Avatar is a cartoon about a little Buddhist monk whose destiny it is to save the world from the Evil Fire Nation.

The show is laced with amazing little stories and morals and most of them based in a realm of Buddhist and Yogic philosophy. There's even an episode where the Avatar (Aang is his name) has to meet up with a Yoga guru so that he may help Aang open and master his 7 Chakras. Although most people aren't going to master and clear their Chakras in 5 minutes like Aang did,
it's still pretty amazing to see a cartoon that teaches kids about these philosophies. As well, when it comes time for Aang to defeat the Fire Lord (basically killing him) Aang remembers his Buddhist morals and instead of destroying the Evil Fire Lord he chooses the path of non-violence and merely takes away the Fire Lord's powerful ability to control fire.

All in all, I would have to say that I would recommend that anyone should watch the Avatar....from young to old. There are several valuable lessons to be learned and it's also
got some really amazing animation, general plot, great character development and it's pretty damn funny in my also made me cry a little bit!!

So think about it the next time you're thinking of something interesting and entertaining to watch....there's a show out there that actually has a base of true virtue underlying a dynamic story!!!



Sunday, February 8, 2009

Making His way Home - ode to my Uncle Ferg

My Uncles funeral was yesterday... not a dry eye in the house!! The man was so well loved!! Yogis say that sometimes the practice of Asana can become a spontaneous meditation and release of creative energy. In Flow Class today my goal was to cultivate a pure practice of gratitude. To be grateful for every breath and every movement. As well, I dedicated my practice to my Uncle Ferg. During Savasana this poem started to write itself.

Making His Way Home
by Steven Ferrell

Today they say a man was lost.
And to the ground his body tossed.
To be cycled through this world again
as husband, uncle, father, friend...

His body not betrayed himself
instead a life of loving wealth
His last smile felt,
His last breath breathed,
But still I hold no sense of grief.

For as lay in smiles, in sun
I see the grace in everyone,
In eyes, in leaves
In gowns and graves,
And every time a child is made.

I feel we need to all embrace
each stage of life in time we'll face.
In his death and rebirth,

In our sadness and fear,
His flesh now gone, his heart still here.

So don't consider him lost today.
When we think on him he's not alone

As guide and guru along this path

My Duke is making his way home

Friday, February 6, 2009

One Comes In and One Goes Out

So for anyone that might actually read my blog.... It's a hell of a long time since my last post!!! For anyone that cares... um sorry!!

But as the Sixth Spiritual Law says "Om Anandham Namah - My actions are blissfully free from attachment to outcome" So writing or not writing... Readers or no readers, here I am.

A lot of crazy hazy stuff has been happening lately and as they say... things always come in 3's.

Number one, which is in continuation as we speak, my Uncle Ferg is one of the millions that have fallen victim to cancer. One of the most beautiful men that I knew, had been diagnosed with Lung Cancer a little over a year ago. Apparently when he was a child he was drinking unpasteurized milk and caught a bad case of Tuberculosis which the doctors say was the beginning of the cancer.... which I don't really understand but I'm not a doctor. Non the less my uncle later developed two tumors in his lung (both substantial in size). And this is where the roller coaster begins. Uncle Ferg had his first cycle of radiation and responded amazingly. One of the tumors had shrunk from the size of a baseball to the size of a nickle and the other tumor had almost completely disappeared.... HOORAY!! The operation to remove the tumors was successful and we thought that this was it...he's going to make a full recovery. And he was already starting to grow his hair back (which had resembled an "greaser" style like a young Elvis Presley) previous to the radiation.

I am a huge believer that you must facilitate your own own healing process... you need to be the most active participant!! Unfortunately, like most others, my Uncle Ferg had just relied on the doctors to do cure him. Being that my Mom and Aunt are both very knowledgeable in the ways of holistic nutrition, they tried to make suggestions but to no avail. He was to "Old Skool" and skeptical to try anything (even a shot wheat grass). I believe that it was this lack of care for himself that eventually led to my uncle getting another tumor and then bone cancer. Which brings forth the question in my mind..."Why would you not want to know or heal your own body?"
Needless to say I am attending my Uncles funeral tomorrow. But while he lived, he was a hilariously funny man with a lot of love to give. He will be missed!!

2nd.... It has been decided that my father, wonderful as he is, is no longer allowed to step onto or off of the back of a pick up truck. About three weeks ago my dad, who has been taking care of my Uncle Fergs property while he's was sick, broke his leg..... oh you old bastard.... can I say that.... not very Yogic but what-a-ya-gonna do...?? He was trying to get a snow blower off the back of his pick-up truck when his proprioception failed and he stepped into space and came crashing down on his heel. As a result, he now has a vertical hairline fracture of his Fibula...Boooooo!!!! Fortunately enough, the break wasn't major and he is healing nicely without the use of a cast or any surgery (just a brace). Man I love that guy!!

And last but not least.... The Wednesday after my dad broke his leg I got a call from my mom saying that my 3 yr old niece Emma had a seizure. Frightening!!! It was 3 in the morning when Emma had gone into my sisters room because she couldn't sleep. My sister took Emma back to her room and was soothing her back to sleep when Emma started to seize. Even now when I think of what that must have been like for my sister, I get queezie!! After 3 weeks and several tests later (CT, EEG) Emma has not had another seizure and they still have not figured out what caused it.

So this is where I'm at!! A seizing niece, a broken dad and a dead!!!
And this is the thing.... Yoga has helped me deal with it all. The grief, the death, the fear, the pain, the worry.... Yoga (and Adele) has helped me cope with all of it!! And I think these days, when all of this is so common in my life ( and in most peoples), seeing people with cancer or just getting ill, the gift of Yoga and spirituality is such a blessing. It, along with meditation, lends me the tools to explore and know myself and the world around me.... I'm learning to be more mindful.... I'm learning to see the grace in all things (from birth to death)... I'm learning that I don't always need to react and now I can respond. Life is a grand dance and when one song is ending another song begins.

This is for you Uncle Ferg... you crazy old fart!!

"One comes in and one goes out." -Jack Johnson