Friday, February 6, 2009

One Comes In and One Goes Out

So for anyone that might actually read my blog.... It's a hell of a long time since my last post!!! For anyone that cares... um sorry!!

But as the Sixth Spiritual Law says "Om Anandham Namah - My actions are blissfully free from attachment to outcome" So writing or not writing... Readers or no readers, here I am.

A lot of crazy hazy stuff has been happening lately and as they say... things always come in 3's.

Number one, which is in continuation as we speak, my Uncle Ferg is one of the millions that have fallen victim to cancer. One of the most beautiful men that I knew, had been diagnosed with Lung Cancer a little over a year ago. Apparently when he was a child he was drinking unpasteurized milk and caught a bad case of Tuberculosis which the doctors say was the beginning of the cancer.... which I don't really understand but I'm not a doctor. Non the less my uncle later developed two tumors in his lung (both substantial in size). And this is where the roller coaster begins. Uncle Ferg had his first cycle of radiation and responded amazingly. One of the tumors had shrunk from the size of a baseball to the size of a nickle and the other tumor had almost completely disappeared.... HOORAY!! The operation to remove the tumors was successful and we thought that this was it...he's going to make a full recovery. And he was already starting to grow his hair back (which had resembled an "greaser" style like a young Elvis Presley) previous to the radiation.

I am a huge believer that you must facilitate your own own healing process... you need to be the most active participant!! Unfortunately, like most others, my Uncle Ferg had just relied on the doctors to do cure him. Being that my Mom and Aunt are both very knowledgeable in the ways of holistic nutrition, they tried to make suggestions but to no avail. He was to "Old Skool" and skeptical to try anything (even a shot wheat grass). I believe that it was this lack of care for himself that eventually led to my uncle getting another tumor and then bone cancer. Which brings forth the question in my mind..."Why would you not want to know or heal your own body?"
Needless to say I am attending my Uncles funeral tomorrow. But while he lived, he was a hilariously funny man with a lot of love to give. He will be missed!!

2nd.... It has been decided that my father, wonderful as he is, is no longer allowed to step onto or off of the back of a pick up truck. About three weeks ago my dad, who has been taking care of my Uncle Fergs property while he's was sick, broke his leg..... oh you old bastard.... can I say that.... not very Yogic but what-a-ya-gonna do...?? He was trying to get a snow blower off the back of his pick-up truck when his proprioception failed and he stepped into space and came crashing down on his heel. As a result, he now has a vertical hairline fracture of his Fibula...Boooooo!!!! Fortunately enough, the break wasn't major and he is healing nicely without the use of a cast or any surgery (just a brace). Man I love that guy!!

And last but not least.... The Wednesday after my dad broke his leg I got a call from my mom saying that my 3 yr old niece Emma had a seizure. Frightening!!! It was 3 in the morning when Emma had gone into my sisters room because she couldn't sleep. My sister took Emma back to her room and was soothing her back to sleep when Emma started to seize. Even now when I think of what that must have been like for my sister, I get queezie!! After 3 weeks and several tests later (CT, EEG) Emma has not had another seizure and they still have not figured out what caused it.

So this is where I'm at!! A seizing niece, a broken dad and a dead!!!
And this is the thing.... Yoga has helped me deal with it all. The grief, the death, the fear, the pain, the worry.... Yoga (and Adele) has helped me cope with all of it!! And I think these days, when all of this is so common in my life ( and in most peoples), seeing people with cancer or just getting ill, the gift of Yoga and spirituality is such a blessing. It, along with meditation, lends me the tools to explore and know myself and the world around me.... I'm learning to be more mindful.... I'm learning to see the grace in all things (from birth to death)... I'm learning that I don't always need to react and now I can respond. Life is a grand dance and when one song is ending another song begins.

This is for you Uncle Ferg... you crazy old fart!!

"One comes in and one goes out." -Jack Johnson



Adele said...

Bad things come in 3, but good things come in hundreds... I like those odds!

Heather Greaves said...

Thank you for sharing Steve. You are truly blessed with an open heart. I know you'll keep it open.


Lynn said...

Steve I am sorry that you had such a burden to carry. I bet your Dad was very scared stepping into the air, I know that feeling, I hope he is healing well and Emma too. I feel sorry for your sister having a emergency like that.

I thank-you too for sharing and if possible update us on your Dad and Emma. Bye for Now

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